It Strikes Me Funny: A squirrel-proof feeder? We’ll see

There is some argument - soon to be finally resolved - concerning my standing in the halls of those diligent, determined word workers who have produced squirrel-proof bird feeders without expensive tools or any instructions from others, including NASA scientists.

Now, for those readers who would say that such a thing does not, cannot and will never exist... don’t be too hasty. Because I think I’m onto something.


["My new feeder stand is about the right height... I think"]

Friend Don K. is one who will not agree. He’s usually the first to say that I’m not onto something other than the path toward another failed attempt. And though he admires my diligence, he feels I’m deluded if I imagine I myself cleverer than a squirrel.

Admittedly, there have been many failed attempts in the past.

My first bird feeder (hung on the clothesline near a wooden pole) will go down in history as merely sturdy, usually well-stocked, and with a Level 1 or lowest rating in the ‘difficult to reach’ category, as far as dozens of locals squirrels are concerned. I’m pretty sure some of the older squirrels still talk about it while sun-bathing together on the fence rail closest to my back door and deck.


["Will a few seeds attract squirrels? We'll see."]

Shortly after building it I attached it to our clothesline outside the back door, but was unaware of the 6-6-6 placement code, that a feeder must be 6 feet above the ground, 6 feet from the nearest vertical surface (e.g., a window ledge or other jumping off point), and six feet from the nearest over-hanging tree branch. I was also unaware that squirrels work in teams to overcome the 6-6-6 code, are able to draw complicated Venn diagrams in the dirt and have been known to laugh out loud at Level 1 feeder placement.


["No squirrels today, so I'll attach the new feeder to its stand."]

My second attempt was more successful. I applied the code more carefully, even went so far as to modify it to 6-6-6-6, to remind me to keep my feeder 6 feet away from building materials. The squirrels were stymied until they discovered they could reach my feeder by traversing clothesline hand over hand... rather, paw over paw, while upside down. One agile pest travelled atop the wire right side up without a balance bar or umbrella (like in the movies).

I thought that was crossing the line, so I attached bottles, cans and wooden barriers to the clothesline and upped my code to 7-7-7-7 to thwart the benefits of my squirrels’ abundant inner city diet.

How’d I do?

Stay tuned.

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