I’m in trouble. Classic trouble.
I remembered my older son’s birthday all by myself for once, mailed off two books that arrived on time, but promised him a third gift - a classic, turquoise Electrohome radio - that will cost me more to give than I initially thought.
Initially thought. I don’t know how many times those words have landed me in the soup. Thousands likely.
Like the time when I was a kid and thought my mother would like my creative retort to a declaration she made regularly, i.e., “Gordon, you’re going to drive me crazy!”
“For some people it’s not a long drive, Ma,” I said.
Not good. It didn’t go over as well as I initially thought.
Throwing eggs at my Grade 6 teacher’s house on Hallowe’en night. Wearing a new sweatshirt bearing an Ognen Nash quote - Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker - to my Grade 11 English class. Swimming naked in Gordon Lake in 2006. At first, each idea felt perfect. But later... hmmm, not so much.
A day after promising my older son his third gift (“I’ll bring it up in a couple of weeks!”), a troubling thought came to mind. What will I give my younger son for his next birthday that will be on par with the lovely Electrohome?
Stink. To keep peace in the family I’m going to have to dip into my collection for an equalization radio. It wouldn’t be fair to give one a classic from the 1950s and the other a pair of socks, even though socks are a lovely gift, depending on the quality and quantity.
For example, as a gift, six pairs of the black cotton ones from Winners is indeed a winner. Right? Socks are fine for a birthday gift?
Sorry, I digress.
So, now I have to head for the basement. Can’t put it off. My boys talk on the phone all the time. News about the radio will get out. I’d better get my equalization radio ready to go.
[Photos by GH]
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