I’m Calling It, Canada: Fall federal election in 2009

You heard it here first - PM Harper will call for a fall election.

And how do I know? (A political pundit or hack I’m not. I don’t even know what a pundit is. I’d guess a small, tippy, leaky boat.)


Two reasons: I’m somewhat informed by news and events and... I trust my gut.

Here’s the news and gut feelings I rely upon:

Liberal leader Ignatieff is rising in the polls

PM Harper is sinking

Ignatieff is smarter and better looking than Harper

PM Harper will be fully aware of this by July


Tomatoes will be ripe in September and Harper will want to throw a big one at Ignatieff

Unity is growing inside the Liberal Party

Discontent, now red hot inside the Conservative Party, will peak in September like red hot chili peppers in my garden

Money in Liberal coffers is growing

My gut says Harper will want to burst that balloon

The recession will worsen

My gut says Harper will want to blame someone else, and soon

Ontario and Quebec is turning against Harper

This is just my gut talking again, but Harper will want to blame someone else for that too

And finally, Harper will call an election in the fall because that's when the pumpkins are ready... and he's almost out of ammo.

***

I think as far as Harper is concerned, “small, tippy, leaky boat” is spot on.

.

Only in Canada: My query re exploding fish is sent to Peter MacKay at Dept. of Defense

Surely, many able-bodied Canadians who love high-quality fish sticks (i.e. that don’t explode in the oven) likely wrote to the Minister of Oceans and Fisheries after reading recent newspaper articles about the thousands, maybe millions, of leftover unexploded munitions (UXOs) that were dumped into our waterways after WWll.

[Our philosophy re explosives until 1970 was this; if we can’t shoot them at people we’ll toss them into the water.]

You didn’t write?

Well, I did, and I just heard back.


Dear Mr. Harrison:

Thank you for your correspondence regarding the presence of UXOs in Canadain waterways and their potential impact to fish and fish habitat. The Dept. of National Defence is the lead on issues pertaining to UXOs blah blah blah I have taken the liberty of forwarding a copy of your letter to my colleague, the Honourable Peter MacKay, Minister of national Defence blah blah.

Sincerely, Loyola Hearn. P.C., M.P. (on behalf of all of Canada incl. the fish)

I thought, geez, my concern about bombs is just one step removed from the office of the Prime Minister of Canada.

I may never eat fish sticks again!