“IT STRIKES” Again: Twin Santas and Bert and Ernie heat it up on Sesame Street

[The following column was first published in January, 2003. For the first time I stray into serious political matters. And I do it in such style. Really, I should run for office like Ernie Eves. gah]

Twin Santas and Bert and Ernie heat it up on Sesame Street

While grandson Jackson played in the basement with two identical wooden Santas on candy-cane skis, I played on the carpet beside him with Bert and Ernie finger puppets.

Jackson’s Santa game went something like this:

“Hi, I’m Santa.”
“No, I’m Santa.”
“No, I’m really Santa.”
“You’re not Santa. I’m Santa.”

Simple toys can easily entertain my grandson. But there didn’t seem to be a quick solution to his debate.

Meanwhile, Bert and Ernie were involved in an interesting discussion inside their old hang-out, the Sesame Street Barbershop.

Bert: Hey Ernie. I haven’t seen you around as much lately. What have you been doing?

Ernie: Well, Bert. I’ve been busy at Queen’s Park.

Bert: Wow. That’s amazing for somebody from the toy-box. How’s it going?

Ernie: Well, now that Mr. Mike is gone some folks are a little more relaxed.

Bert: How are you getting along with Rozanski’s report about public education funding?

Ernie: ‘Wow’ yourself, Bert. That’s a pretty serious question coming from you. I mean, last week your main concern was Big Bird’s big stomach.

At this point Jackson stood up and said, “Grandpa, you’re being silly.”


["Bert and Ernie are hiding but Sesame Street is still a busy place.": photo GH]

No argument from me on that one. However, as a retired teacher I do have opinions about some educational matters. Okay, about most things.

Bert: Your Tories took big piles of dough out of public education and got asked to put some of it back. I could have predicted that and I’m just an old plastic toy from the discard pile.

Ernie: Well, I won’t quibble with Rozanski’s suggestions, but we have to hash out how much money will be there. And you did get tax cuts. That has to count for something.

Bert: Sure. It helps me pay for the gas, water and hydro bills on Sesame Street. They’re all going up.

Bert and Ernie duked it out for a few more minutes, trying to put their main concerns on the little plastic table. Ernie thought it might be appropriate (with an election coming) to give Bert a few more bucks but Bert just wanted the kids on Sesame Street to have proper textbooks when needed.

“Grandpa Gordie! Stop playing now,” Jackson yelled down the basement stairs. “Want to go skating with me?”

“Okay, I’ll be right up. Let me put a few things away. Do you want to help? I called back, but I could already hear him running toward the front of the house to get his new skates.

Bert and Ernie were cooling down. They realized they had to live with each other on the same street at the end of the day. In fact, they often bunked down in the same room over top of the Sesame Street Grocery Store.

I opened the lid to the toy-box that once belonged to my grown boys.

Erie: Bert, I’m all talked out. Want to get something to eat at the deli?

Bert: Sure. How about a tuna sandwich and a glass of cold tap-water?

I closed the lid quickly and went to find my skates.

gah

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