The Workshop: Just call me Dusty Jeans

Last week, the very day the second and last “Ice Cream” birdhouse sold at The Red Roaster, a coffee shop regular asked me, “Do you have another one? With a Coke machine out front?”


“No,” I said. “But, guess what? I will soon.”




I should have two up and running by Monday. The birdhouses are now assembled, but a fair amount of ‘custom’ trim - and Coke machines - will have to be painted and attached.

(You know what ‘custom’ means, right? It means ca-ching! Papa gets to go for a motorcycle ride on the next warm day. Sorry, I digress).


["All photos by Dusty Jeans"]


So, I now have to brush the dust off my jeans, head down to the basement - potful of trim in hand - and tidy up my paint station before I mess it up again.

***

Dusty Jeans. Has a nice ring to it.

“Dusty Jeans, mean machine, keeps turnin’ out the trim.”

Yeah, there should be a song about Dusty. Work on it. Get back to me.

Please click here for another visit to The Workshop.

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Bits and Pieces: PT 3 “Taxes take 41% of pay” Gasp??

[“Taxes have grown over the past 49 years to the point that the government is now the largest expenditure facing a family,” Fraser Institute senior economist Niels Veldhuis said. April 27, London Free Press]

Should we all fall down? Go boom? No.

In spite of the conservative think-tanks findings, offered without the benefit of helpful context, when the average Canadian family (income $72,393) learns it pays 41.3% of that amount in taxes, it may breathe a sigh of relief.

“It’s the best deal on the planet,” some people will say.

“It sounds like a lot, but we’re doing well,” others will say, and say it honestly.

Now, admittedly, 41.3% is more than the average family spends on food, clothing and shelter (those costs come in at 34% of income), but people are getting a lot for their 34%.

For example, in the Food Dept.:

The average Canadian is overweight and wears XL Levis with a stretchy waistband

Canadians make 17 million visits to restaurants per day

Canadians pay one of the lowest amounts for weekly groceries (under 15%), compared to income, in the entire world. The percentage is higher in the US; it stands at 45% in Indonesia

Canadians annually write grocery lists that include millions upon millions of dollars worth of cookies, cola, sugar-covered cereals and snack foods

The average Canadian family would do much for its health - and health care costs - if it spent less on food, cooked more meals at home and walked around the neighbourhood more often after supper.

I’m sure the Fraser think tank would agree.


["I'm sure the Fraser Inst. loves my ideas"]

About the Clothing Dept.:

The average Canadian family has seen the size of closets grow substantially over the years

For example, in my 1930s three-bedroom house, the three closets (one is a hall closet for coats and two vacuum cleaners; one bedroom does not have a closet) are no more than 3 ft. by 4 ft. Modern homes and apartments now often come with one or more walk-in closets, room enough for more clothes and shoes than one person can shake a stick at. Sorry, I digress.

‘Clothes Hog’ and ‘Shoe Hog’ are modern terms and many families hire professional organizers or declutterers to help bring material possessions under some kind of control

The vintage and used-clothing markets have grown substantially in the modern era

The aforementioned 34% likely includes the cost of Nike running shoes for weekend runners at $169 per pair and the expensive NHL jerseys that adorn many fans watching the current hockey playoffs

I would therefore say the average Canadian family is getting by pretty nicely at the moment.

The conservative-minded Fraser Institute may want the average Canadian to feel that government has to be smaller, programs have to be cut, taxes have to be reduced - but I don’t buy their small government, market-first, large lifestyle philosophy.

And about the Shelter Dept.:

The average Canadian is not finding costs related to their homes unbearable because of government spending

For example, in the early 1900s, 800 - 1,000 sq. ft. homes, and smaller, were common. My parents and my four siblings lived in a one and a half storey, seven room house in Norwich for many years. We managed to get along without pitching anyone into the streets.

My wife and I and two sons lived comfortably together in our current home, eight rooms, 1,050 sq. ft., before the boys moved into their own digs. Half of the house, including the basement, is now under-used.

I would estimate that the modern day standard for a house is greater than 2,100 sq. ft., or twice my home’s size.

I would guess furnishings cost in excess of $20,000 per home. And if that includes the latest big-screen TV and finished rec room, I would suspect the high average debt per family ($148 debt for every $100 income) is the result of over-borrowing for items on “the want list” and not the size of the government. Again, I digress.


["Personal thrift provides more benefits than small government, Mr. Fraser"]

Now, what about that other 25% that the average Canadian family has left to spend after taxes and life’s essentials?

How are Canadians doing in the transportation, communication, recreation, RRSP and backyard pool departments? Any ideas? Is the government standing in the way of our success, progress, or excess?

Stay tuned.

***

Please click here to read PT 2 “Taxes take 41% of pay” Gasp??

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Dad’s Navy Days: PT 3 - A door opens at the King’s Arms Hotel

1941. Late at night, Irvine, Scotland

My father was ordered over the side of an LCA or LCM (landing craft armoured, or mechanized) by Commander Koyl in order to free it from a sandbar.

Over the side he went. He helped free it.

My father didn’t get back aboard before Koyl raced off to participate in a training exercise. Dad later wrote, “I didn't really know what went amiss but the fact that the landing had to be made on time was uppermost in Koyl's mind.”


["...the landing had to be made on time...": photo GH]

Koyl was likely anxious to get moving. Prime Minister Winston Churchill was on hand to witness the landing.

Very early the next morning

My father, Koyl and Bailey (another cold, wet sailor, one who had made it back into the boat before it sped off) stumbled into a local pub in Irvine.


["Diamond Lil, LCM, 1941. Don't fall out!"]

They were warmed with rum, hot porridge and dry clothes by members of the Skinner family. “All of this help came from ladies,” wrote my father. He thought the name of the pub had been changed to Harbour Lights.

2010

I write to Harbour Lights three times. Father died seven years before, but I feel a thank you is in order to any surviving members of the Skinner family

No replies.

Last week

I find a news article online. ‘King’s Arms family snap up the Harbour Lights.’ King’s Arms pub was not renamed Harbour Lights as I had been led to believe.

I write to the King’s Arms:

You may find this a confusing email from Canada but any help you can give me will be appreciated.

Was the King's Arms known by another name in the 1940s?

I ask because of a short story left behind by my father concerning a mishap during World War 2 off your coast. After dislodging his landing craft from a sandbar, being left behind and alone in the sea, and later rescued (hours after the craft's training exercise) by his commander, my father was taken to a Irvine pub.

He writes, "...to a local pub (now known as the Harbour Lights)... the Royal Sovereign, the King George? Help came from a few ladies (in the form of dry clothes, hot porridge and rum)."

I believe someone else supplied the poor quality picture of the King's Arms Hotel that accompanies my father's story, which confuses the matter re name of hotel, and adds that members of the Skinner family revived my father.

Do you know if any members of the Skinner family remain in the local area? A big thank you is in order. I suppose most involved with the story would be in their 80s or 90s, or gone, but any information you could provide would be very helpful. Sincerely, Gord Harrison

Within the hour I receive a reply.

Stay tuned.

***

Please click here to read PT 2 - A door opens at the King’s Arms Hotel

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“IT STRIKES” Again: Letter to the Editor

[Last week I posted ‘Know what SUV stands for? Simply Unnecessary Vehicles,’ a column that was originally published on Oct. 31, 2002. One week later, the following letter appeared in The Londoner.]

Why we love SUVs

I expect that Gord Harrison’s column struck a chord with many of us. I would like to expand on that because I believe that the popularity of SUVs can be attributed to the overwhelming influence of the Economic Imperative - that is the belief our very existence depends on economic expansion and wealth.

The fact that most of us are more or less captivated by this illusion makes us long for personal freedom and excitement in lives that often become dominated by the triviality of excess. This makes us vulnerable to all sorts of marketing ploys and those of the auto industry are reflected in the popularity of the SUV.


["Jon's letter is featured in my first book": photo GH]

The great influence of the Economic Imperative is now being seen in the apparently waning support for the approval of the Kyoto Protocol in Canada. Does this mean that we are willing to trade the opportunity to take on the truly exciting challenge of saving our future by healthy lifestyle changes for slavery on the treadmill of economic expansion?

All great teachers have told us that excess results in the paralysis of the human spirit. I think the human spirit is still alive and well in London but let’s examine carefully what is of real value in our lives.

Jon Baskerville,
London

***

Jon’s letter stands out as one of the best responses to any of my columns.

Please click here to read ‘Know what SUV stands for? Simply Unnecessary Vehicles’

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Cartoon in Progress: “Life’s like that, eh” 7

“Barry had to admit his friend’s poker face was the best he’d ever seen.”

gah

***

Please click here to view “Life’s like that, eh” 6

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Bits and Pieces: PT 2 “Taxes take 41% of pay” Gasp??

[In 2010, a family with an average income of $72,393 spent 41.3% of its income on taxes. Spending on food, clothing and shelter added up to 34% of the family income, the study found (i.e., a new study from conservative think-tank the Fraser Institute). April 27, London Free Press]

When I see a headline like ‘Taxes take 41% of pay’ I don’t gasp, clutch my chest or fall over due to weak knees.


["Where do I stand concerning tax rates?": photo of GH, 1969]

When I read that an average Canadian family pays 41.3% of its income on taxes I feel I need more information. What benefits do I receive for my tax dollars? What does the average family receive? What do the growing number of Canadian millionaires receive? 41.3% might be the bargain of a lifetime.

I’d also like more information about the corporate tax rate. I know it has gone down over the last few years and will go down another 1 - 2 per cent this year or next, thanks to the federal Conservative government.

So, I’d like to know how much revenue will be lost to the government because of the lower corporate tax rate. Will the 41% average family tax rate or beneficial government programs be under pressure because of the decline in corporate tax rate?

How much has the corporate tax rate declined since 2000? Since 1990? Since 1980? Since 1970? And what’s happened to our national debt from 1970 to the present time? Maybe time spent focusing on the average family would be better spent focusing on big business and a fairer, more-productive tax system.

And now that the conservative Fraser Institute has got me thinking about the average family and corporate tax rates, I want to know more about tax rates in other countries.


Do average families in the US or Europe, making $72,393 per year, pay more or less tax than Canadians? What benefits do they receive, or not receive, compared to Canadians? Perhaps we’d see, again, that 41.3% is an absolute bargain. Perhaps we’d see, in order to receive benefits common in other countries, that a slight increase in taxes would provide some very important improvements in our lifestyle.

Oh. Something else. I have some questions about the 34% that the average Canadian family - in the $70 - 75,000 income range - spends on food, clothing and shelter.

Stay tuned.

***

Please click here to read PT 1 “Taxes take 41% of pay” Gasp??

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Bird Watching: Neighbourhood cats - you’ve been warned

Chickadees have nested in a cedar tri-plex just meters away from my favourite chair on the back deck.

Today I’ll add “watch for baby birds” to my list of spring activities.

The adult birds have cleverly built an attractive nest from materials found close at hand.




["Hey, cats. These birds mean business": photos GH]

For example, when I open the birdhouse door, I see mounds of moss from our own yard. I see twigs and long, thin branches that might be from a cedar hedge in a neighbour’s yard. And I see, to top everything off, strands of hair that might be from - that I hope are from - the rumps of several local cats.

I’m scoring it, chickadees 1 - cats 0, and cheering for the birds to keep up the good work!

***

Please click here to view recently built birdhouses.

Please click here for more Bird Watching.

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It Strikes Me Funny: PT 2 The age of living dangerously

[The following incident occurred just moments ago. Yes, I am alive to tell the tale.]

Moments after I attached a section of freshly-painted step ladder to the side fence my wife stepped onto the back deck.


She looked at the ladder... silently. I watched her eyes scan the ladder from one end to the other as she carefully appraised the shade of blue paint I’d applied the day before under dark grey skies filled with bullets of hail. (I barely escaped alive from the storm).

“How do you like the colour?” I asked.

1, 2, 3.

“It’s fine,” she said.

1, 2, 3.

“I knew you’d like it,” I said.

“Maybe before you do your shopping, you can help me take the second section off the fence,” I said.

And, she did. All’s right in the world.

***

Please click here to read ‘The age of living dangerously PT 1’

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Zoom w a View: Just the right shade of blue

Forget-me-nots are just the right shade of blue.




Heart-shaped blossoms are just around the corner.


[Photos by GH]

***

Please click here for more Zoom w a View.

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It Strikes Me Funny: The age of living dangerously

I think it’s a lovely shade of blue. Made by Heritage Paints. Milk paint.

I found the tin yesterday under one of my work benches while putting another tin back into place, and immediately the following thought entered my mind:

It’s time to paint the two sections of an old step ladder that hang from the backyard fences.

Seconds after giving the mental thumbs up I removed one piece of ladder from the fence and painted it.

The paint went on smoothly. Finished the second coat today, seconds before a hail storm.


["What a lovely shade of blue, eh? Eh what??": photo GH]

I was safely inside my shop, with the painted ladder, when ice started to hit the shop window.

Whew. I could have been shredded into many tiny bits, like ice berg lettuce in an expensive salad.

Now... about the title. I’m about to put the ladder back onto the fence and I haven’t yet told my wife about my choice of colours.

***

Please click here for more It Strikes Me Funny.

Please click here to read my most recent column re ‘the last word about decluttering, and the next word about Scotland.’

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Dad’s Navy Days: PT 2 - A door opens at the King’s Arms Hotel

Because of a mishap prior to an important training exercise with the Merchant Marine, which was to proceed under the watchful eye of Prime Minister and Minister of Defence Winston Churchill, my father - cold, wet and bedraggled - fell into the warm surroundings of a pub in Irvine, Scotland.


["The figure in the dark coat and hat might be G.D. Harrison; Commander Koyl, far right. Irvine, Scotland 1941 or 42"]

He hurried through the doors early in the morning, in the year 1941 or 1942; he left in the afternoon, topped up with hot porridge, rum, and dry clothes (“All of this help came from ladies,” wrote my father years later.), and within a few weeks or months he was aboard a ship bound for Sicily and action in World War II.

After reading his story I thought, wouldn’t it be nice to thank any remaining members of the family that owned the pub, i.e., the Skinners? All I need is an address.

My father had said that “it was late afternoon before we left the pub (the Royal Sovereign or King George?)” and that it was now known as the Harbour Light. (Accompanying his story is a photo of the King’s Arms Hotel).

Last year I found a postal address online:

The Harbour Lights
6 Harbour Street,
Irvine, Ayrshire,
KA12 8PY

I mailed letters on more than one occasion.

Dear Proprietors, I discovered recently a few words about your fine establishment in a story written by my father concerning a naval training mishap off the Ayshire coast near Irvine in 1941 or 1942...

I included great detail about my father’s adventure not far from their front door. I said “I write this letter to ask if The Harbour Lights was once known as the King’s Arms Hotel? And to ask if any members or relations of the Skinner family from the early 1940s still remain in Irvine, visit your pub on occasion and can remember or verify my father’s fine story? If so, I’d love to hear from them.”

Over a year has passed since my first letter. No reply was returned to it or subsequent letters.


["Stink. I should have first tried to contact the King's Arms!!"]


["But the caption said the name had been changed to Harbour Lights. Goose chase!"]

Recently I came to the conclusion that The Harbour Lights must be closed down, or I had the wrong pub or address. I decided to try another tack.

Online I went again, a week ago today, this time in search of information concerning the King’s Arms Hotel.

I found a news article entitled ‘King’s Arms family snap up the Harbour Lights.’ It was written on August, 2008 by John Woods of the Irvine Herald.

It begins as follows:

IRVINE'S best-known family of publicans have added another string to their bow.

The Scotts, who have been running the town's Kings Arms Hotel since the 1950s, have taken over the lease of the Harbour Lights and will move into the pub near the end of next month.

So, in one quick stride I learned that the Harbour Lights is alive but so is the King’s Arms, and the King’s Arms had not been renamed Harbour Lights as mentioned in my father’s story. And I fell into two good contacts, i.e., The King’s Arms Hotel website and a link to a writer at the Irvine newspaper.

I asked myself, Who should I write to first?

I picked the pub. I love pubs. I typed a brief message in the 'contact us' box.

Stay tuned.

***

Please click here to read PT 1 A door opens at the King’s Arms Hotel

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Bits and Pieces: “Taxes take 41% of pay” Gasp?? Pt 1

[“The average Canadian family spent close to half its income on taxes last year - more than it paid for food, shelter and clothing combined, says a new study...” April 27, London Free Press]

My word. How shall I respond to the latest study from the Fraser Institute, a conservative think-tank?

Shall I clutch my chest over my heart? Shall I fall over and lie face down atop my shag carpet? Shall I curse the government for the terrible predicament (It is a terrible predicament, isn’t it?] that the average Canadian family faces day in and day out for the rest of my life?

No. I’ll do none of those things. Neither should you. Most average Canadians will be just fine, thanks.

Studies that share so little information don’t pass the Harrison Sniff Test.

Though the Fraser Inst. reports that “in 2010, a family with an average income of $72,393 spent 41.3% of its income on taxes,” which may all be well and true, I want to have more information for context, perspective and balance.


["So. Educate me, ya young b'y."]

For example:

What does the average family receive in return by paying taxes to different levels of government? Is there a concrete benefit to educational, health care, social programs, etc.? Can we put a dollar figure on the value of a good education or health care over the course of an average lifetime? If Canada invested in a dental care program, and paid taxes accordingly, would the average family actually save money over the long term?

By discussing the benefits of taxation fully, average Canadian family members might see they generally live like kings and queens in a free country.

I’d also like to know the percentage of tax that families pay who earn less than $40,000. And the % for those who earn between $40 - $50,000, between $50 - 60,000, and so on, right up to millionaires (the number of Canadian millionaires is growing, eh) and billionaires.

By looking at more figures we might see that the 41% tax rate is about average in Canada. Or we might see that people with higher earnings pay fewer taxes and therefore have a higher percentage of disposable income, and that a fairer taxation system is in order.

With even more information, we might learn that the average Canadian is almost getting the best deal in the world.

Stay tuned.

***

And who is the Fraser Institute? How conservative are they anyway?

Please click here for more fun with money matters.

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Zoom w a View: Double daffodils still going strong

The singles are gone. That is, my single daffodils have disappeared from view.

But the doubles beside the back stairs are still putting on a show. Even though they don’t see sunlight until the afternoon. Even though I ignore them 99.99% of the time.


["Double not in trouble": photos GH]


Doubles, keep up the good work, I say. 'Cause you’re on your own.

***

Please click here for an earlier show by the doubles.

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Dad’s Navy Days: A door opens at the King’s Arms Hotel

Last summer, in order to fulfill a promise to my father, I motorcycled 2,300 km to Halifax, Nova Scotia.

I found a rocky shore. I gave a small boat containing half his cremated remains a mighty heave. The Atlantic Ocean caught it and carried it away.


["Heave ho. Tally ho. Scotland next, Pal": photos GH]

Just like dad wanted, I bet.

Hopefully, the boat will be picked up by the Gulf Stream and find its way to Scotland, a country in which he trained for the Merchant Marine before entering World War II. Perhaps the boat, S.S. Silver Walnut, will reach Scotland’s shore near Irvine, a town featured in one of dad’s war stories.

Gordon Douglas Harrison, age 20 or 21 at the time, wrote the following later in life:

“We were perhaps headed south (in Irvine’s waters, for a midnight training exercise) and it was rough. Our craft ran aground on a sandbar.

“Koyl ordered Bailey and I overboard to look or tread for deeper water. (Koyl, flotilla commander, entered the water as well).

"Wandering in sea boots, underwear, duffel coat, I fell into deeper water and hollered, “Over here, sir!”

“So we worked our asses off to free the ALC and we were successful. Koyl’s fuming, “We are going to be late!”


["Koyl didn't want to be late. Churchill was watching. I don't know if my dad knew this."]

“Bailey and Koyl were able to get back aboard. I wasn’t and they drove off and left me out in the water.”

Though my father found the next couple of hours in the water unbelievable, after the landing exercise and what felt like an eternity, Koyl and his craft returned to the same area and plucked my father from the water before he gave up hope.

Dad wrote:

“When we returned to Irvine, Koyl, Bailey and I hurried to a local pub (now known as the Harbour Light). We were given hot porridge, rum, and our clothes were taken to be dried and we were wrapped in blankets.

“All of this help came from ladies.

“It was late afternoon before we left the pub (the Royal Sovereign or King George?).”


A copy of an old photo of the King’s Arms Hotel (likely supplied by those who compiled the book in which the story appears, and not my father) accompanies my father’s story along with a note that members of the Skinner family helped warm and revive the three sailors.

Thot: Wouldn’t it be nice to thank any remaining members of the Skinner family?

Well, I had that thought last year and acted on it.

However, these words are included in the note:

Pub's name has been changed, perhaps in honour of the occasion to "The Harbour Light."

Because of those last few words I went on a bit of a wild goose chase.

More to follow.

***

Please click here to read more about the S.S. Silver Walnut.

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I Ask You: Some things have to go into the garbage. Right?

What does one do with old ‘duckies’?


Because they are starting to leak (Sorry. I lied. They have been leaking for a few years!), I thought I could apply duct tape to solve the problem.


No good. Too far gone. Holes too big. Tape doesn’t stick well to 10-year old boots.


Then I thought I could put them into Declutter Box #3.

No good. Too far gone. Holes too big. They wouldn’t pass the Good Will Industries sniff test.


["No holes. Good for ten more years": thrillin' photos by GH]

So, they’re in the garbage can now, and I’ll start wearing my old pair of cut-off rubber boots around the yard. No holes.

But, I ask you, should old duckies just go to the landfill?

Is there something else I could do with them in the “recycle-reuse” department?

***

Please click here for another I Ask You.

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Zoom w a View: Apricot jam by September

The number of blossoms is exploding on our front yard fruit tree.

I’m going to put in my order now for apricot jam.




["The tree in the front yard is buzzing with life": photos GH]


The temperature is rising, bees are buzzing from flower to flower, so, there should be a bumper crop of apricots by late August.

I’ll pick them if my wife will help me make the jam. On my own I would cause my own huge explosion.

***

Please click here for more Zoom w a View.

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Live Small: Are Canadians driving less with higher gas prices?

[“With the price of gas above US a gallon, there are signs that Americans are cutting back on driving even though the economy is improving.” Apr. 12, Metro London]

During my first motorcycle ride of the season on Saturday I rode through the village of Sparta.

I noticed three things while there:

British bunting still festooned a local coffee shop in honour of Will and Kate

The main intersection smells like a strong perfume (Strawberry candles may have been on sale nearby)

Gas was priced at $1.37 per liter.

Several thoughts crossed my mind, in the following order, when I saw the price of gas:

My tank holds 17 liters

A tank will cost 17 x $1.37 = at least 30 per cent more than last year

I may have to ride less often or travel fewer miles per trip

Stink!

By the time I reached Dexter Line I was wondering how long it would take to ride a bicycle the 62 km. to Port Bruce.


["I could ride a bicycle... But, to Port Bruce?": photo GH]

About 4 hours I suspected. Then I’d have to pedal back. Going to the lake for coffee could tire me out. And I getting older. I may soon have to come up with alternative pleasures closer to my home turf.

I wonder. What could I do? What are my options?

Have you been thinking along the same lines as costs of fuel and groceries and other commodities rise?

Are you already driving fewer miles in order to conserve fuel?

***

Please click here to read Live Small and Prosper.

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Motorcycle Miles: Better late than never

Last year I enjoyed my first motorcycle ride on Tuesday, March 9th. I wore blue jeans and a leather coat and travelled through Sparta on my way to Port Bruce.

This year I enjoyed my first ride of the season last Saturday, April 30th. I wore the same blue jeans. I wore the same leather coat. I travelled to Sparta, then on to Port Bruce.


["Have these folks moved from the pier since last year?": photos GH]




["New paint job on a popular pit stop; same coffee."]

I started this season with 34,454 km. on my odometer (1994 1100cc Virago) and with gasoline at $1.37 per liter. At that price, I may be going on more short rides, like to Port Bruce, than long ones this year.

That’s fine by me. Small and beautiful pit stops abound within an hours ride of London. I may also use my Raleigh five-speed more regularly in search of London’s finest cup of coffee.

(Other beverages will come to mind as well, on hot days, and I’ll put a few more miles on my loafers.)


For now, I look forward to the next suitably mild day, i.e., ‘mild enough’ to take the tarp off the bike.

***

Please click here to see my last Motorcycle Miles entry from 2010.

http://itstrikesmefunny.blogspot.com/2010/11/motorcycle-miles-pt-4-last-ride-for.html

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Birdhouse Hunting: Slow motorcycle miles on Saturday

By 1 p.m. Saturday I was pulling the tarp off my motorcycle and planning a route. Both activities were prompted by a thermometer reading.

Mine said ‘warm enough.’ Yours?

By 1:30 I was turning south at Nilestown’s main interesection. Within seconds I spotted my first birdhouse of the season, but because I was accelerating - and saw open highway ahead - I didn’t stop.


["Lovely aged four-plex in Mapleton, with 3 other models": photos GH]

Between Nilestown and new Sarum I could have stopped a half dozen times to photograph birdhouses I hadn’t noticed in the past. I stopped twice - see accompanying photos - before heading toward Port Bruce, birdhouse capitol of SW Ontario.




["Purple Martin condo and Peterson's bluebird house; north of New Sarum"]

Not only was it a fine day to go birdhouse hunting, it was a pleasure to be riding once more.

***

Please click here to see birdhouses spotted last year.

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Cartoon in Progress: “Life’s like that, eh” 6

“The Mozer twins were found at the edge of the lake - lost in reflection.”

gah

***

Please click here to view “Life’s like that, eh” 5

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“IT STRIKES” Again: Know what SUV stands for? Simply Unnecessary Vehicles - the gripping conclusion

[The following story was first published in The Londoner on Oct. 31, 2002 under my current byline, It Strikes Me Funny. Please click here to read PT 1 for context. Go. I’ll wait. The story is funnier, in my opinion, if you’re currently driving an expensive land Rover. gah]

Know what SUV stands for? Simply Unnecessary Vehicles

I would hate to miss out on the golden years by getting mangled by an attacking beast of any kind.

Seeing the Land Rover with the muscular tires and rhino on the rear, I began to wonder: What kind of terrain or neighbourhoods are some people driving through to get their wee ones to Girl Guides or volleyball practice?

Are there inner-city or suburban streets in London that are so deep in mud and mire that 6-inch treads are necessary?

Do some people haul their way over rugged hill and dale to get to work or church on time, to the nearest mall or fast-food restaurant?

I suppose car manufacturers are simply trying to encourage consumers to think of their vehicles as the means to unlimited or unexpected adventure.


["I say, buy a smaller ride. Conserve fuel."]

Buy a Land Rover and the world of the rhinoceros will be at your doorstep; or you could blaze a new trail in your Blazer, head north in your Yukon, go on a lion safari in your Sahara, explore exciting vistas in your Explorer, whistle a happy tune in your Hummer, cut down a pile of trees (or hug as many as you want) in your spanking new Forester).

Folks are entitled to expand their horizons, aspire to do new things and drive into mudholes up to their chins if they want.

It’s just that most of London’s streets are flat and covered with tarmac.

And since Cathcart Street is definitely low in muck, mire and rhino (oh, a couple of us complain about the tenacious grip of the dandelion), the Land Rover with jaw-like treads for a quick escape from danger seems a little out of place, don’t you think?

gah

***

Please click here to read PT 1 Know what SUV stands for? Simply Unnecessary Vehicles

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Live Small: Tips related to clutter... or lack thereof

My last two news columns touched on decluttering my house.

Box Number Two - ready to say good-bye!


["The beat goes on. Ready for recycling": photo GH]

Right. I’m still not done. Another 40 years... maybe.

Sharon M., a reader, sent a link to a site called ‘unclutterer.’

I went. I learned something.

You might too.

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Live Small and Prosper!

Please click here for more ‘Live Small’.

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I Ask You: Would a potato ruin the porridge?

I am used to adding the following perks to the regular batches of porridge I make:

Red River cereal

bran

flax seed

sliced raisins

currants

chopped apple


["And, I do like potatoes": photo GH]

Because of the raisins, currants and apple, I no longer add sugar to sweeten it. It’s sweet enough. (A lot like me, really).

However, while stirring the pot this morning I wondered how it would taste if I added one chopped potato?

I ask you: Have you ever added potato to your porridge? How did it taste?

What would be the pros and cons?

Would I even notice a potato in my porridge?

Is this type of thinking too far outside the box?

What box?

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I didn’t add potato to this morning's batch. Maybe next week.

Please click here to read more I Ask You.

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“IT STRIKES” Again: Know what SUV stands for? Simply Unnecessary Vehicles

[The following story was first published in The Londoner on Oct. 31, 2002 under my current byline, It Strikes Me Funny. Do you drive an SUV? Could you drive something smaller? gah]

Know what SUV stands for? Simply Unnecessary Vehicles

The parking spots in front of our house on Cathcart Street are usually gone by 8:30 every morning, rain or shine. The church and school across the street create a steady demand for the seven or eight spots on our block.

After fifteen years of living at this location, I barely notice the comings and goings of any of the vehicles. And once I’m focused on a task-at-hand it almost takes an emergency to get me to raise my head.

My wife could yell from the front porch, “Gord! Behind you!”

“Be there in a minute. Just gotta get this last dandelion out of the lawn. Its root must be wrapped around the Union Gas line.”

“Gord, the car is on fire!”

“Yeah, there in a minute.”

However, the new blue Land Rover parked recently in front of our house turned my head. I noticed two things.

The tires had such deep treads. The grooves were so deep, wide and jaw-like they appeared capable of grabbing a man by the leg and slamming him heavily to the ground over and over again.


[“Get to the mall safely in The Defender!”: photo link]

Second, as I approached the Rover cautiously from behind, I saw that the spare tire, attached to the outside of the rear door, was wrapped in a wheel cover with a picture on it of a snorting rhinoceros.

I’m not the most energetic, attentive or experienced of world-travellers, but I am alert enough (most days) to know that there are very few, if any, rhinoceri, elephants, lions or tigers roaming the streets of this fair city.

If I’ve missed them (or if they’ve missed me) on my way to the Red Roaster for a cup of coffee and toasted cheese bagel with butter and extra marmalade, just warn me of the danger please.

I would hate to miss out on the golden years by getting mangled by an attacking beast of any kind.

Please stay tuned for the gripping conclusion.

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And please click here for another brilliant episode of “IT STRIKES” Again.

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Cartoon in Progress: “Life’s like that, eh” 5

“Life’s like that, eh”


“Hallowe’en was ruined! Even when Al wore the $15 kit, everyone could guess who he was.”

gah

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Please click here to view “Life’s like that, eh” 4

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