Morning Vignettes PT 3 at The Little Red Roaster

Men are from Mars. Granted.

Women are from Venus. Granted.

(I would even allow that women are from farther away than that).

Case in point -

While my wife and I were comfortably sipping coffee at The Roaster this morning, a woman entered who looked an awful lot like someone I’d met - and mentioned to my wife - a few weeks earlier.

I had been enjoying coffee at Williams Cafe with another retired teacher and friend when a woman sat down at the same large table - with a girl friend, but too close to me for my comfort - and almost immediately entered my world with comments related to the ongoing conversation I was having with my aforementioned friend.

Worse still, when her meal order arrived, she offered me part of her date square.

Now, I love date squares but said, "Thanks - but no," and without being rude (in my opinion), I continued to engage only with my friend.

Later, the same day, when I shared the above with my wife, I described the woman as “kinda annoying, too gregarious for my liking, interruptive.”

But when I saw the woman this morning I said to my wife, “I think that’s the lady who was being so smarmy a few weeks back.”

Immediately my wife recoiled, her nose wrinkled.

“Smarmy?” she said. “That’s a terrible thing to say.”

“What’s wrong?” I said.

“She was being kind of... ,” I began again, then paused, drawing a blank.

My wife filled in the blank with the following, which may explain why I started this scene with reference to planets far away:

“When I think of smarmy I think of someone revolting, stinking, covered in fish guts.”


[“Fish guts? How did she come up with that?”: photo link here]

WTHeck, I thought.

“Where have you been in life where you ever saw such a thing?” I said. “Smarmy isn’t that bad. It’s more like being too familiar, even clingy.”

“I agree with clingy,” she said. “Why didn’t you just say clingy, because smarmy is terrible.”

WTHeck, I thought. I not only don’t know where she picked up the fish guts imagery, I don’t know where I am in this conversation.

For 41 years I’ve known this woman.

Well, I thought I did.

[End of Scene 3.]

***

My head is still swimming with the fishes.

If you feel context is required (and I know I do), click here for Morning Vignettes PT 2.

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