All Dads Have Gas
Chapter Three - Dad explains the bad fishy smell
Picture in your mind a father in shorts and scruffy T-shirt a-walkin’ with his 6-year old son toward the shade of a big maple tree beside a garden of tall and healthy tomato plants.
Both are sweating from the heat of a sunny July afternoon.
“Let’s sit down and take a break for a few minutes,” says the father.
The boy nods.
The man opens a lunch pail and takes out some food and water.
“That rotten fishy smell is coming from me,” say the father. “I’ve got bad gas today.”
["Bad gas might come from a fish supper."]
“I thought so,” says the boy before drinking water from a thermos.
“You did?”
“Yes,” says the boy. “I didn’t think it was a duck.”
“What about a chicken?” says the father.
“Nope,” says the boy.
“What about a dog or a fish or a garbage can?” says the father.
The boy shakes his head and says, “I thought you were tooting.”
["Do you like to eat pickled eggs?"]
“I can’t fool you,” says the father while opening a container of nibblies. “It was me alright. Something I ate or drank last night, maybe even this morning, is giving me gas.”
“Like what,” asks the boy.
“I ate extra fish last night. And I had a beer after supper. And this morning I drank two large cups of coffee. Maybe that’s a bad mix and makes me fart.”
“I don’t say that word,” says the boy. “I say toot.”
“Where did you hear that word,” asks the father.
“Mom told me to say it.”
The father’s eyes grow as big and round as the pickled eggs and apples in the lunch pail.
["Do apples make you toot? I'm a dad. I say 'yes'."]
The father says, “Did she hear you toot?”
“Yes. And I called it a stinker,” says the boy.
Then the father does something that surprises the boy again.
He lays down on the grass, laughs so hard the leaves in the maple tree start to shake and says, “What else do you call them?”
***
Please click here to read New Children’s Book Pt 4: “All Dads Have Gas”.
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