“IT STRIKES” Again: Plug in and find out just what’s being done to lower your hydro bill

[The following column was first published in February, 2003. We use hydro even to this day so my thoughts might still be relevant. Hey, it could happen. Why such a long title? The Londoner was much wider eight years ago. gah]

Plug in and find out just what’s being done to lower your hydro bill

I like hydro. Without it my toes would be blue right now because the room I’m in isn’t insulated. I wouldn’t be able to wail away pathetically with Tom Waits on CD in the privacy of my home. My computer would be cold and silent too.

But I wonder a bit about the amount of my hydro bill and the many hands that reach into my pocket when I fetch my wallet.

The bill was due today. To escape the $2.22 late penalty I drove to the London Hydro office at 111 Horton to drop off a cheque and ask questions about two monthly charges.

I had tried, unsuccessfully, to get answers by visiting their website and calling their office.

On their website I did learn the power lines in London are “fully owned, operated and maintained by London Hydro”. Oh good. I read that “London Hydro generates revenue through a fee charged for distributing electricity”. Great.

I also discovered while waiting eight minutes on the phone I can’t be easily entertained by their canned music from the ‘60s. (“Sugar pie, honey bunch, you know that I love you!”) Yeah, right. Just pick up the phone.

So with certain questions still in mind I walked into the Hydro building.


[Please click here to read someone else's thots re London Hydro]

Inside their door was a sign declaring in bold yellow letters - ‘Rapid Payment System’. The ‘system’ was a large yellow box into which I could deposit my cheque. I slam-dunked my bill into the nearest slot as quickly as possible. Slam. Dunk. I finished with a flourish. How rapid was that?

After passing through a set of double doors I asked a vigilant security guard if there was someone I could speak to about my questions.

He said, “You can call customer service from one of the small rooms behind me.”

I looked behind him. Desk, chairs, two phones. No real people.

“Will I be waiting as long here as I would at home?” I asked.

“I don’t know,” the guard answered. “It’s the same number though.”

Disappointed, I shook my head and walked into a cubicle, noting the instructions next to the phone. I dialed 5503 and got an unexpected, immediate answer.

“Hello. How can I help you?” a kind voice asked.

“Hi.” I shuffled and arranged a few papers. “I have a couple of questions about my bill. I’m wondering about the extra 4.22 per cent I paid this month for ‘Total Loss Factor’. What is that?”

“Well, electricity is an energy that’s not 100 per cent containable,” replied the voice. “It’s lost in a variety of ways during distribution. All users pay for this loss.”

I asked, “On a graduated scale? Like, if someone uses more hydro in their home than I do, will they pay more for the loss of hydro?”

“Yes. This charge is based on consumption,” came the reply.

(I think I get it. We’re charged for hydro that’s lost on the way to our homes. We don’t lose it, we don’t use it, but we pay for it. Plus, we pay GST on this lost energy. Don’t you just love science fiction?)

I continued, “What about the ‘Debt Retirement Charge.’ How long will it take us to clear off the debt? 5 years? 10 years? 100? What’s the word around the office?”

“That charge is based on consumption too. And I think it’s for about 6 years. Although it could be like the GST,” answered the friendly voice.

The comment about the GST struck me as totally honest, spontaneous. I said, laughing, “Right. Okay. Hey, thanks for your help.” I hung up.

As I walked out of the Hydro building and passed three chatting guards I stopped smiling. I patted my back pocket to feel if my wallet was still there.

gah

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