It Strikes Me Funny - Conclusion: KFC’s Double Down sandwich

All I can say is thank goodness.

‘Canadians will not get to enjoy Double Down’ says a newspaper clipping from the April 13 issue of the local Free Press.

After reading about what makes up a Double Down (it’s two pieces of bacon and two slices of cheese smothered with the Colonel's Sauce with two fried chicken patties as buns) I felt I should become a member of the Food Police and strike it from menus wherever it may be found, along with triple pattie burgers and anything else containing enough calories to scare buzzards off a gut wagon.


[Dear KFC - keep the DD out of Canada; we're already getting too big for our pants"]

For those who can’t believe what I’m saying and are warming up the car to drive to the nearest KFC for lunch, afternoon snack and supper combined in one huge sandwich, here is what the brief news clipping said:

"The Double Down is currently not available in Canada," the company said in a statement sent to QMI Agency. "KFC Canada closely monitors customer response to all international and U.S. product launches and continuously evaluates opportunities to test these new menu items in Canada."

I suppose if no one dies right away from eating the DD in the USA, it will appear in Canada in time for high school graduation festivities.

Good luck with your thighs, Canadian grads!

***

Repeat after me -

I solemnly swear I will never eat a Double Down. So help me pancreas (and all other internal organs).

.

It Strikes Me Funny Pt 2: KFC’s Double Down sandwich

This just in:

Some people are madly tweeting about the new KFC Double Down sandwich, which is not called a chicken sandwich even though it’s two pieces of bacon and two slices of cheese smothered with the Colonel's Sauce with two fried chicken patties as buns.

(I suppose it’s called the Double Down because after you eat one you double over and are down for the count).

When I googled KFC Double Down, out of morbid curiosity, a few tweets started to appear.

Here’s the latest one:

My chem prof just called kfc's double down a weapon of mass destruction... Jash M.

Here’s another:

As soon as Liz and I saw the KFC "Double Down" commercial last night she said, "Shut up." I had not said a word yet. BLF

Another:


["I'd use a fork to poke at it. Is it real?"]

I'm gonna go try out a KFC Double Down. Pray for my survival. BT

Tweets are coming fast and furious. Wow, the Double Down seems to be all the rage in the USA.

Are you in on this, or praying for the survival of your fellow countrymen?

Oops, here’s another:

Just finished the KFC Double Down. Had four bites with hand, ate the rest w/fork & knife. Sandwich was finished at 1:58 PM. Will update. gg

While waiting for the update (I’m on pins and needles) ‎I’ll mention that a few people have commented that KFC isn’t the only fast-food chain that is going super big and bunless.

That’s right. If the Double Down isn’t for you, perhaps I could interest you in a Mr. Potatoskin Sandwich.

Please click here to read Pt 3 The Double Down

.

Would we miss KFC if it grilled its last chicken tomorrow?

KFC is promoting the crap out of its grilled and fried chicken (5,000 US stores to soon give it away for free) but a restaurant analyst (Larry) recently said KFC’s latest performance report was disappointing.

I thought, will we miss it when it’s gone?

The majority of the bones in my body (82%, incl. the little ones inside my inner ear) say NO.

Reasons we won’t miss it:

There will still be 3,489,842,909 fast food joints out there. KFC could disappear at noon and we wouldn’t even burp at its passing


["One that got away": photo GAH]

There are 4 billion other distractions to occupy our frazzled brains. E.g., where are my car keys?

Many people are too busy making their own sandwiches to care. They’re thinking of saving money instead

Of all the reasons (yes, there are likely others), I like the last one best.

Tuna on whole wheat is not only healthier but it’s always nice to learn a new skill.

***

Do you know how to make a healthy sandwich?

What’s for lunch?

KFC who?

.

Link and Learn: Any wonder why 42% of mainlanders suffer on PEI?

While on The Bruce recently [click here for brilliant photos] I discovered a spot that only serves real fries, not those fake ones from PEI that come in a plastic bag.


Yummy. (Step aside. I’m home now and need to make my way to the treadmill).

Upon checking my Faceburn account I noticed a friend had added a note about ‘the parma,’ a potato and fixins feast that vies for top spot on the ‘a larger portion would surely kill you’ list.


The parma is right up there with a dish from PEI called 'the works.'

Def’n; the works - world-famous PEI fries smothered in a truck load of gravy, corn, meat and more.

The plate fills the table.

Islanders are used to it.

However, 42% of mainlanders don't make it off the island without full on medical assistance.

***

Feeling Brave? Tell me what you’ve discovered or eaten that compares.

And now, back to the treadmill.

.

It Strikes Me Funny: BBQ season arrives, Lindsay Lohan cracks wise, and now this?

It strikes me funny that on the first full day of summer around here (sure, it’s April, but yesterday it felt like summer to me), the same day I check the BBQ to see if it still works after spending 6 months under a tarp, I catch wind that “those who eat more red meat have a modestly increased risk of death from all causes, cancer or heart disease” (according to a recent study by the US National Cancer Institute.

It’s funny, I tell you... maybe a conspiracy.

So, rather than put a small peppercorn steak and tray of veggies under the hood and sit in a lawn chair on the back deck to reread a very funny and entertaining article about the train wreck known as Lindsay Lohan, I popped a veggie lasagna into the oven and made a salad.

(The article begins like this, re Lindsay and girlfriend Samantha: “We are taking a brief break so I can focus on myself.” As if spending quality time with herself will improve her resume.)


Quality time with a salad will help my diet. I’m in the middle of the age group the study studied. And during the study twice as many men (that’s me) died as women. And red meat was involved in the crime.

Now I'm wondering... who put the results of the study on my desk?

***

Once my solar oven is finished, maybe I’ll be heating up veggie lasagnas rather than seconds and thirds of my Scorch and Burn (beef and pork) chili.

.

Many victories in a modern day Victory Garden

If you don’t believe that co-operative human energy produces amazing results please link to Victory Garden.

One sentence alone tells a big story:

“In 1943, Americans planted over 20 million Victory Gardens, and the harvest accounted for nearly a third of all the vegetables consumed in the country that year.”

Amazing results? Absolutely.

The sentence reminded me of another one sent by Jessica in response to an earlier post re gardens and chicken coops:

"You begin to see that growing even a little of your own food is, as Wendell Berry pointed out 30 years ago, one of those solutions that, instead of begetting a new set of problems--the way "solutions" like ethanol or nuclear power inevitably do--actually beget other solutions, and not only of the kind that save carbon." [From an article by Michael Pollan called "Why Bother"]

I haven’t read the entire article yet (four pages in length), but will. His book, The Omnivore’s Dilemma [see Read This, right hand margin] also touched on the value of gardens.

***

Will I have a busy spring? I think so.

re gardens - back yard, front yard, or both? or participate in a community garden?

.

Sugar in the morning, sugar in the evening, suga at suppa time!

Geez, if I’d wanted a heart attack while eating pancakes I would have asked for one.

I wanted blueberries with my blueberry pancakes, nothing more.

Oh, yeah. And a glass of cranberry juice because that’s what the server at the Harmony Restaurant north of Fenelon Falls said she was serving.

But when the juice arrived it was actually cocktail and I’m smart enough to know there’s a difference - just not how much of a difference.

After reading the nutritional facts label and discovering how much sugar was in the bottle of cocktail, however, I figure the difference is somewhere between good health and a coronary.


[Closing in on a coronary bypass?]

I exclaimed in front of others, “What the heck? That’s a lot of sugar.”

Close your eyes and guess. Just take a stab.

How much sugar in a 450 ml bottle of cranberry cocktail?

10 grams? 20? 30? 40? 50? 60?

Someone might say, “Sixty? Get real, granddad.”

Yeah? Try this.

The label said 35g per... 250 ml serving.

Quick. Go grab a calculator. I’ll wait.

Stay tuned.

.

Really, I’m not 100% juiced but I wanna be

Ever since reading Sugar Blues by William Dufty several years ago I banned soda pop from my diet.

Get offa my porch, stop your knockin’, I say. Thou shalt not cross my lips.

I don’t drink Coca-Cola, Pepsi or Dr. What’s-his-name because even though I run on a treadmill and ride a recumbent bike 3 - 4 times per week I have trouble keeping my love handles down to the size of small pillows.

Besides, one beer or can or Guinness before supper is surely enough sugary drink for one day.


[I repeat: This is not me. It's definitely some other guy.]

“Since 1985, an American’s annual consumption of high-fructose-corn-syrup has gone from 45 to 66 pounds. You might think that this growth would have been offset by a decline in sugar consumption, since HFCS often replaces sugar, but that didn’t happen: During the same period our consumption of refined sugar actually went up by five pounds.”

“What this means is that we’re eating and drinking all that HFCS on top of the sugars we were already consuming. In fact, since 1985 our consumption of all added sugars - cane, beet, HFCS, honey, maple syrup, whatever - has climbed from 128 pounds to 158 pounds per person.” pg. 104, The Omnivore’s Dilemma

Now, I do like to drink real fruit juices but they’re getting squeezed off grocery store shelves by cocktails and blends and stuff that is a very poor excuse to cram more HFCS down my throat. (We’re buried in cheap corn, so get used to HFCS being added to just about everything we eat and drink.)

So, help. What’s a poor boy to do?

I want good juice in the fridge. What’s best?

More meaty quotes from The Omnivore’s Dilemma

I generally do my best reading while riding a recumbent bicycle in the basement.

My concentration is deep, pages fly by, I underline with jiggly lines many world famous quotes (well, they will be once everyone reads the same book and sees things the way I do), calories fall to the floor, beads of sweat form on my brow.

Not all of the beads are produced by the much-needed exercise.

In The Omnivore’s Dilemma Michael Pollan writes:

“When humankind acquired the power to fix nitrogen (make fertilizer from mountains of ammonium nitrate left over from WWll munition production in the U.S.), the basis of soil fertility shifted from a total reliance on the energy of the sun to a new reliance on fossil fuel.” (pg. 44)

Of course, being self-reliant is commendable in many ways but we supplant the sun at great personal and environmental cost.

The personal: Mountains of fertilizer turn into mountains of corn which, along with a mountain of antibiotics and truckloads of fat, feed millions of cows that become the meal of the day (in North America we eat a fifth of our meals in cars and feed a third of our children at a fast-food outlet every day) for an obese population.


The environmental: “The ultimate fate of the nitrates spread on cornfields (e.g. in Iowa) is to flow down the Mississippi into the Gulf of Mexico, where their deadly fertility poisons the marine ecosystem... creating a dead zone as big as the state of new Jersey”. (pg. 47)

I’ve finished only 20 per cent of the book so I’ve many miles to pedal before more important lessons have been learned.

But I can almost guarantee I’ll be less beefy by the time I reach the last page.