Live Small and Prosper: “Soup du jour moderne”

Modern technology has its place. And new efficiencies must be pursued at every turn. 

[“Harrison homemade turkey soup. Five Star”]

But let’s also find a place for simple, hands-on work in the kitchen. Let’s not forget that leftovers can be fit for a King.

[Photos by G.Harrison. Soup by P.Harrison]

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Did something homemade fill your bowl or plate recently?

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It Strikes Me Funny: My wife’s only mistake

I can’t count the time my wife dug up one of two lovely white pine trees from our front yard as a mistake because she believes to this day it was dead.

I thought at the time, and still do, that its coverage of yellow needles only proved it was going through some hard times and that it would replace the yellow needles with new growth given a bit more time.

But we’ll never know who was right. While I was at work one day she cut it down. Not by mistake she says.


However, under the spreading arms of the second and surviving white pine (surviving quite well too, I might add) lies a metal cap to our water line. It sticks up about 3 - 4 inches and bears a scar from the time my wife hit it, several years ago, with the spinning blade of my last gas-powered lawn mower.

She told me she didn’t notice it. (What?!)


["Ollie spins just steps from the second pine and water cap": photos GH

Though she killed the lawn mower, I don’t mention it - well, hardly ever - because she’s pretty sensitive about her one and only mistake in life.

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Please click here for more It Strikes Me Funny.

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It Strikes Me Funny: I got a kick out of this card

My oldest son recently sent best wishes to my wife and I regarding our 41st wedding anniversary.

FYI - 25 is silver, 50 is gold, 41 is white cedar (see post below : )

I laughed for two reasons when I read the card he sent to us.

First, a crisp 20 dollar bill slipped out and fell to the floor.

“I think that’s for me,” I said.

“Not likely,” my wife said. “I bought nappies and wine last time we were there (i.e., Fenelon Falls, last week).”

She was right. She got the twenty.


[‘Card by Comedy Club. $3.39 in Canada, $2.79 in USA. Hey, why is that?”]

Second, the caption hid my funny bone in the right place.


‘Torrid passion.’ That’s us all over.

Why, just last night we got into it while watching TV. We both wanted the nubs left at the bottom of the bag of microwave popcorn.

“You got them last time,” I said.

“No, I didn’t. You did. You always get them,” she said.

Right again. I’m passionate about my nubs!

***

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It Strikes Me Funny: Pt 3 - Final tips for a happy marriage

The fate of many marriages likely hung in the balance while I penned the remainder of my tips for a long and deliriously happy union.

As well, I was serious about Tip 5, i.e., when a new purchase enters the house, something old must leave.
Odds are, if you don’t follow it, you’ll trip over 3 or 4 extra Ottomans while walking your ice cream toward the downstairs freezer.

However, when I said “something old must leave,” I was not referring to one’s spouse.


[“Think of the long haul - in a positive way.”]

Tip 6 - Do not add an item to your partner’s To Do List unless a fair trade has been worked out in advance. You’ve heard of the Civil War, right?


["Who says we gotta paint the fence by Friday?"]

Tip 7 - Use encouraging, supportive language with your partner everyday. I’ve found that “You decide. I just want you to be happy” works very well.

Tip 8 - Leave critical language for the lawn mower that won’t start. (What you say in the shed, stays in the shed).

Tip 9 - Make important decisions together, or as I like to say - so I will - live life on the same page. For example, say you want to build a large bookcase in the living room on a Saturday night. Order the lumber only after you get the thumbs up.

Tip 10 - Hug one another everyday. If you have to, make up a reason. (Hugs can lead to slow dancing and tunes by The Everly Brothers).


I’ll end here knowing there are 1000s of tips and bits of pithy advice that can be shared with one another.

“Think of the long haul - in a positive way.”

“Smiles don’t take days off.”

“If money is an issue, cancel cable TV and turn Friday night into a date night.”

Really, the list could go on forever, which is one of the points of marriage, isn’t it?

Author’s Note: Send me any tips or bits of advice that make perfect sense to you. I’ll add the best to the list at another time.

***

I tip my hat to Jim and Agnes McCauley, who celebrated their 67th wedding anniversary eight days ago.

Please click here to read It Strikes Me Funny: Pt 2 - Gord’s tips for a long, happy marriage

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It Strikes Me Funny: Pt 2 - Gord’s tips for a long, happy marriage

[Please click here to read PT 1 for context.]

You know that lever on a tub faucet that activates the shower when it’s pulled up and drains the shower line when pushed down? Ours is a bit sticky and needs to be jiggled a couple of times to make sure all the water drains out once a person is finished showering.

Otherwise, the next person to use the shower gets a two second blast of cold water, forcing them to turn and run away. But there’s nowhere to run. And a person, e.g., me, could slip and fall and darn near suffer a major injury.

So, in order to celebrate a 67th anniversary (just like the couple mentioned in PT 1) amidst an atmosphere of peace and progress, Pat and I and all like-minded couples across Canada and the US should work on my Marriage Tip 1 - jiggle the thingy on the faucet after a shower.


While typing the above I had the following insight. My wife will read it and say she always does that and she knows - from experience - that I don’t always do it.

Listen, I’m not trying to cast blame here. The Marriage Tips apply equally to both of us and the other aforementioned couples - very equally.

Tip 2 - put the milk back in the fridge after each use. (I know I never forget to do that, but I could, and somebody else might. So, it’s important).

Tip 3 - put extra bags of milk in the refrigerator freezer, not the basement freezer, so that when more milk is needed someone doesn’t have to walk all the way downstairs to get it. I mean, where’s the incentive to thaw out milk for the next day?

Tip 4 - what couples say in the kitchen stays in the kitchen. What is said shouldn’t be shared with the kids by one or the other to gain support or with hockey teammates to garner sympathy. (Not that I would ever do that).

Tip 5 - when a new purchase enters the house, something old must leave. Therefore, we lessen the chance to end up with three of everything in the basement or garage.


["Hey, there's a good reason I have three extra hockey sticks!": photo GH]

Tip 6 and beyond will follow shortly.

***

Please click here to read It Strikes Me Funny: Pt 1 - Secrets to a long, happy marriage, if you haven’t done so already.

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While in Ottawa, we supped and laughed at...

The Highlander Pub on Rideau Street.


["How many malts? I wondered.": photos GH]

It was there I was able to use my favourite line all-time.


Although ‘where have you been all my life’ (my wife actually bought it) and ‘you’re sitting in my chair, Mr. Dryden’ (I actually had to tell Ken to relax, that I was just kidding) are near the top of the pile, I have a better one.

After taking the first bite of a steak sandwich I caught my wife’s eye and said, “This is delectable.”

She laughed. I knew she would.


["During quiet moments I gazed outside the window"]

The key word is ‘delectable,’ and when properly used brings much mirth to our conversation.

Several years ago, while by wife sipped coffee at The Roaster (Where was I? I have no idea.) she couldn’t help but overhear two ladies talking at a nearby table.

“I really enjoy Gord Harrison’s columns, don’t you?” said one, not knowing his lovely and now fully attentive wife sat an arm’s length away.

The woman continued. “His personality is so delectable.”

Delectable. That’s one heck of a word, but in my case, not hard to live up to at all (I guess).


["The view was - in a word - delectable"]

My gosh, how we laughed when she retold the story to me later in the day.

It’s such a good word (so descriptive, so bang on) I’ll use it well into my nineties.

After a hearty lunch I’ll say, “The soup and Jello were delectable today, eh?”

I bet my wife (you know, old-what’s-her-name) will still laugh.

***

Don’t miss our visit to The National Art Gallery.

You bet, I spared no expense!

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Yesterday - A 40th Anniversary Lunch: Today - Decade #5

Time flies, eh, when you’re having a good time or running from the law.

Speaking of good times, my lovely wife slipped me 50 bucks yesterday to cover the significant cost of a significant lunch.

Oh, yes. She’s a keeper. And from her point of view, which I seldom understand yet continually forgive, I must be a keeper too. (But where will she keep me?)


[Aug. 8, 1970: “Dear, can you loan me 10 bucks for the tux?”]

24 hours later I look at the date and say, our 40th has come and gone. We are now entering our fifth decade together.

Fifth decade. Fifth.

We passed silver, toasted one another with one more expensive metal in mind (and ordered a new roof for the house) and are now heading for gold.

Catch us if you can.

***

My wife won’t stop saying ‘it feels longer than 40 years.’

I suppose I deserve that.

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Today's Weather: Was it funny? I think you had to be there?

I couldn't get still shots or shoot a video of what really happened because (a) I didn't have my camera and (b) my wife, though she found the incident hilarious, would never consent to appear on my blog.

Her loss. I mean - the fame, the glory!


["It's cold out. The snow is even squeaky": photos GAH]

That being said, something transpired this morning while we walked home from The Little Red Roaster in Wortley Village that got us laughing at the same time.

Normally, we react differently to things because we're almost complete opposites.

"It's cold out today," one will say.

"Not to me," will say the other.

"Do these jeans fit me alright?" she will occasionally ask.

"Perfectly," I'll always say.

"Do my jeans fit okay?" I'll ask in a blue moon.

"No, not at all. You have no butt," she'll say.

An hour ago, however, we were in perfect synch.


["I could hear this guy from my porch. Squeak!"]

It was so cold on our walk home that the snow squeaked loudly beneath our feet. And because our legs are exactly the same length ("Our pace is identical," I said. "No," she said. "Our legs are the same length."), we made squeaky noises in unison.

I thought, it's the type of irritating noise that, if we lived in the tundra and had a six-mile walk home from the coffee shop, would lead to a gun fight.

So, just as the sound of our combined squeaking was about to get on my last nerve, I exaggerated the length of my stride considerably and the subsequent discordant noise made us laugh.


["Imagine me on the left, my wife on the right"]

I looked a bit silly too (John Cleese would be proud), and the moment was not lost on my wife.

However, for readers at home:

I think you had to be there.

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From The Workshop: Six words I love to hear

My three day trip to Fenelon Falls to help set up shop for new twins (they’re due any second now) pooped me out.

There were contributing factors:

Sure, I’m getting older, though not very

Driving in the rain puts a strain on my brain

And I hurried back home on Wednesday to play hockey (my team really needs me; I have the pucks in my equipment bag; high expectations e.g. “get to the rink on time,” are stressful)

This morning, after coffee and a refill at The Red Roaster in Wortley Village, my wife said a few words I love to hear:

“You should take it easy today.”


There’s easy work to be done in the shed (roofs and coats of paint on ten GHs, sweeping) but maybe I’ll just lean on the broom.


I know how to do that.

***

“I know how to do that.” Six words. I love symmetry.

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After 39 years of marriage, should I cut my wife a deal?

Both four-plexes came together very smoothly (no fingers went missing) and I felt a buzz while making a modern style home design from old, rescued, Muskoka barn board.

My wife (and grandson Ollie) visited me in my shop yesterday and once the dust had cleared said, “I want one of those.”

I paused, put the broom aside.


["The max? A deal?": photo by GAH]

“Which one?” I asked.

“The one with the two white roofs.”

“Okay,” I said, and wondered where she was going to put it.

I also wondered if I should charge her the max or cut her a deal.

I mean, someone had earlier suggested I ask three-digits for them.

Then again, she’s had to put up with me for over 39 years.

The max? A deal? The max? A deal?

***

I’m leaning toward...

Stay tuned.

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It Strikes Me Funny: Men are from Mars and women don’t listen

I woke up this morning thinking about power tools, but in a good way.

[See post below or click here].

I thought I’d use them less often, make some projects by hand, and make a huge name for myself with a line of rustic birdhouses from my workshop.

After fluffing my pillow I rolled over to see if my wife was awake so I could tell her about my idea.

A red light turned on inside my little round and sleepy head.

I remembered she stopped listening to most of my wacky ideas over 30 years ago.

A while ago, in a moment of weakness or clarity or both (I don’t know how she thinks), she told me 1974 had been a turnaround year in her life.

1974 was the year she’d listen to yet another new idea for about 15 seconds, file it under ‘Hey, Another One’ and go back to what she was doing before I interrupted.

For over three decades I thought the look of peace that came over her face during many of our conversations was the result of a mutual love and respect that would carry us through all the highs and lows of married life (38 years of apparent bliss so far).


How wrong I’d been.

So, though she appeared to be sleeping, I gently rocked her shoulder and said, “Have you ever tasted squirrel stew?”

***

38 years and counting. Hard to believe, eh?

Click here to read an ode to my better half

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