Bits and Pieces: I’m Your Handy Man. Call me.

Baby James Taylor wrote ‘Handy Man’ in 1990. Not my favourite Taylor tune but it came to mind during a recent phone call.

“Gord, can you fix two sticky gates for me?” said a friend. “I’d do it myself but I’m up north, and busy with work.”


["Kiln-dried cedar swells when it gets wet. Gates get sticky": photos GH]

I listened to the details, knew the family and home I would have to visit, knew I had the tools required.

“I’ll call you when I’m done,” I said. “Just be prepared for a hefty bill.”


["Swollen lumber can cause a variety of damages"]

Handy Man / James Taylor / Rejigged to suit me.

Hey folks gather round, listen to what I'm putting down
Hey folks, I'm your Handy Man.
I am the kind that uses pencil and rule,
I'm handy with hammers and I'm no fool,
I fix broken gates, I know that I truly can.

Once I examined both gates I knew I was in for a big chore. The first gate, four feet wide, was heavier than the man who built it and I knew I couldn’t lift it off its hinges without breaking my back. A sharp saw and my belt sander, both very handy tools, did most of the work.


["The hinge sits on the surface of the lumber. I'll bury one side."]

The second gate was lighter so I removed it and sunk the hinges 1/8th of an inch (with my handy hammer and chisels) to provide the clearance needed. I sunk better and more screws into the hinges as well. I don’t want another phone call.


["The gate will soon swing freely and provide more privacy too."]

Oh, I’m a handy man all right (“Gather round!” Ha!), but I’m busy with birdhouses on the brain right now.

So, really, don’t call me.

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