“IT STRIKES” Again: Of saunas, bathing suits, fires and safety at the Y

[The following story was first published in The Londoner on Oct. 17, 2002 under my current byline, It Strikes Me Funny. The story is funnier if you picture me in a Speedo. gah]


["Oh yeah. It's Speedo season and I'm ready!": GH circa last Thanksgiving]

“Attention Members: The Men’s Plus dry sauna is closed indefinitely due to the fact someone put their bathing suit in the sauna and it caught fire.”

Though I’ve been a member of the Downtown YMCA for several years and am used to seeing notices posted on the front counter (e.g., The gate is up, The pool will be closed next week, or General members, bring your own towels for crying out loud!), I haven’t spotted the latest message before.

And I haven’t thought much about the Mens’ Plus membership or the availability of a dry sauna. Would I like to use a sauna on occasion? Would I like to put on my swimsuit, read my paper in the sauna and occasionally burst into flames? Honest, I haven’t thought about it. My general membership provides enough stimulation for the time being.

When I walk into the Downtown Y I’m content to follow my established routine. I find a locker close to the mirrors and admire my amazing muscular definition. Ha! I quickly change from pedestrian clothes to athletic gear, check behind me to make sure my t-shirt isn’t tucked into my underwear, sprint up two flights of stairs (hoping to look athletic) and stretch a bit before tackling the hardest part of the regimen - trying to look like I have some clue about what to do next. I think about warming up and feeling the burn but my shorts never get close to catching on fire. The Plus members must follow a more rigorous exercise program.

I paused on my way out of the Y the other day to speak to the young employee working at the front counter.

“Hi. This is an interesting notice about the dry sauna,” I began, pointing toward Attention Members.

“Yes, the alarm went off and the fire department had to come,” she said. “Were you here that day?”

“No, I don’t think so. Not that I can remember,” I responded.

(I later recalled I had been at the YMCA on that fateful day. I was having a shower when the alarm sounded. I remember deciding that since I was already wet and the swimming pool was only 15 feet away from where I was standing I would probably be safe. I couldn’t imagine a fire would sweep through the shower and then chase me into the swimming pool. I couldn’t imagine I would run naked into the pool area either, but in an emergency I’m sure people are capable of doing lots of interesting things.)

Tune in tomorrow for the exciting conclusion of ‘Of saunas, bathing suits, fires and safety at the Y’.

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