I can understand $150 as the minimum, levied against drivers who believe they are in an emergency situation and are calling the nearest hospital because their passenger - for some strange but verifiable reason - has a tree branch stuck in his ear.
But what if the driver is explaining directions to a friend who is coming over later in the evening to watch Wheel of Fortune?
That’s why Randy McNally invented maps, G.P. Morgan invented the GPS system and the first school teacher invented pencil and paper about 3,000 years ago, isn't it?
A more appropriate fine would be $250 for that offense.
Suppose a person is caught on the phone saying, “What are you doing? Me? Nothing. Just driving to work. Wanna hook up later? What do you wanna do? I don’t know either. Whoops... busted. Later, dude.”
Couldn’t that conversation take place later, like in the middle of math class? I say 350 bucks for that one.
["Sit down back there, Lemonjello. Don't make me text you again."]
By now, some readers are thinking about this sliding scale idea and seeing its merits, because you know how stupid people can be and we must fight it at every turn. Good for you.
In my opinion, the maximum fine of $1,000 should be given to anyone caught texting to a friend who is sitting in the same vehicle.
Plus, the officer should be allowed to remove the keys from the ignition and throw them off the nearest bridge, preferably a very high one.
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