It Strikes Me Funny: Modern talk at the baseball park

When I was a kid, when Niagara Falls was no bigger than a leaky faucet and half the girls in Gr. 5 were way tougher than me, my baseball education was so neglected.

Case in point...

During Sun. night’s baseball game between the Phillies and Dodgers a commentator said the following when the Phillies came up to bat in the second, leading 4 - 0:

“It’s very important that the coaches talk to their players about The Add On Run after they get a quick start like this, up four runs after one inning. The Add On Run is really important at a time like this.”

My coaches were years behind in the ‘50s and ‘60s. Not once did they take us aside between innings and individually or collectively speak to us kids about The Add On Run.

Sure, we wanted to hit the ball, get on base, run all the way to home, score a few runs here and there, but I would have felt like a real ball player if just once the coach had mentioned The (All - Important) Add On Run.


["Let me tell ya what Coach told us! No guff.]

Coach: Boys, I know we’re out ahead, but you know this team. They might come back. They might score enough runs over the rest of the game to tie us up, maybe even go ahead and win.

Me: Win? You think they can actually do that, Coach?

Coach: Heck, ya.

Tommy (Tommy was always one to ask questions too): What should we do? I’m startin’ to sweat.

Coach: I want you boys to go out there and try to get what I like to call The Add On Run.

(Man, I can see us turning our heads and looking quizzically at one another, mouths open, eyes clouding over, as if Coach had gone and said somebody has just landed on the moon. Land on the moon? The Add On hooey what?)

Coach: You don’t want to see the other team catch up, do ya? Hernendez, listen up you big cheese!

(You knew Coach was really serious when he called somebody a big cheese. Especially an illegal alien.)

Team: No sir, Coach!

Coach: You want to win don’t you?

Team: Yes sir, Coach. Yes sir we do.

Coach: Then I want... OK Ump, we’re about ready. Just another sec... I want you boys to go out there and score some more runs. Add on to what you already have. Build up an even bigger lead.


["Coach, is that like The Add On Goal?": GAH circa 1955]

Me: You mean, not be slackin’ off, Coach? Play ball like we do every other night of the week?

Coach: I think you got it, Gordie boy. Now get out there and get...

The Add On Run.

***

MLB. Almost as much fun as Sudoku.

.