Favourite Things: Dad’s Naval hat, from 1943

According to my dad’s memoirs, his service in the Royal Canadian Navy began on June 20, 1941 and ended September 5, 1945.

He left behind many tales (some published in two thick volumes dedicated to stories by members of the Merchant Marine) along with his medals, parts of his navy uniform and a tired wallet with a life time member’s card to the Norwich Legion.


One of the favourite things I inherited is dad’s naval hat, size 7.


["Dapper Dan?": photos by GH]

Dapper Dan I’m not when I place it upon my head, but it seems a perfect fit.

What is one of your favourite things?

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Please click here to see another Favourite Thing.

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Thoughts Deepening

Thoughts deepening

Minds remembering familiar voices stilled by death and dying


["Veterans on Parkwood Hospital bus, November 11, 2011": GH]

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Remembrance Day 2011: London, Ontario - 11 a.m.

[“Following the playing of The Last Post and two minutes of silence, where the only thing that could be heard were flags flapping in the wind, Catholic Central high school’s chamber choir sang In Flanders Fields.” Nov. 12, London Free Press]

Good service. Service performed by soldiers alive and dead. Service attended by Londoners young and old last Friday.


Good silence. Intended to mark the moment. Interrupted by only a few sounds.


Sounds of “flags flapping in the wind”
Wings of pigeons stirring the air over City Hall

Voices of quieted children counting the seconds
Rumbles, like thunder, not from a storm overhead, but from an uncovered microphone

Foot steps of those arriving late, shuffling, coming closer
Hearts beating


Thoughts deepening
Minds remembering familiar voices stilled by death and dying


[Photos by GH, Nov. 11, 2011]

***

Please click here to view photos from Remembrance Day 2010.

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“IT STRIKES” Again: Bert and Ernie debate the merits of the big raise at Queen’s Park

[The following column, inspired by actions of then Premier of Ontario Ernie Eves, was first published in April, 2003. I was so ahead of the curve! : ) gah]

Bert and Ernie debate the merits of the big raise at Queen’s Park

Bert (leaning dangerously out of the upper window over the Sesame Street Deli): Hey Ernie? Ernie? Is that you?
Ernie (rocking back stiffly and looking upward): Hey, Bert. Yeh, it’s me.

Bert: I had to call you twice. You seem to be in your own little world.
Ernie: Oh, I was doing some mental arithmetic. I really concentrate when I do that.

Bert: And I didn’t recognize you at first from up here. Are you doing something new to your hair?
Ernie: Yeh. (He runs his orange hand through his plastic hair.) It’s a new expensive gel. You should try it.

Bert: No thanks. I I like how my hair spikes up all on its own. Natural preservatives you know - kinda 1970s.
Ernie: Wanna come down for a milkshake, Bert? Deli’s open.

Bert: I’ll get ready. Whose turn to pay this time?
Ernie: I’m pretty sure it’s still your turn. I was just doing the math.

Bert changes quickly into his favourite striped T-shirt and green pants and hops out the window to the sidewalk below. Animated conversation continues once they are comfortably seated at a yellow table next to the Sesame Street fire hydrant, cold chocolate shakes in hand.

Bert: So how’s your job going at Queen’s Park?

Ernie: Well, I haven’t been there for a few months. I scheduled a long break after sweating over considerations for a 23 per cent pay hike.

Bert: Oh, wouldn’t that mean you’d be working longer hours?
Ernie: I really love your sense of humour, Bert. You’re so naive. I don’t think you’d ever make a decent politician.

Bert: You don’t think so, eh?
Ernie: Well, I’m sure we could debate that for hours but we won’t.


[Photo link]

Bert: So Ernie, I was wondering. How come I have to pay for your shakes all the time?
Ernie: It’s just common sense bert. See, I give you a little money if the wind is blowing in the right direction, then I expect you to pay it all back, and more. Didn’t you catch my budget from Brampton?

Bert: I wasn’t invited. I did turn on the TV but all I got was infomercials. So what would I have learned?
Ernie: First off you’d realize if you want to get a message out, don’t do it at the Magna training centre. With my business background I should have remembered it’s all about ‘location, location, location.’

Bert: Yeh, you seem to be taking some heat about that move.
Ernie: I’m just letting you know the media seems to be preoccupied with the location as opposed to the content of the campaign... er, budget speech.

Bert: Well, you could have used your house at Queen’s Park. There are more seats for people. Folks could have discussed the fine points with you.
Ernie: Yeh, that would have been the highlight of my day, Bert. Hey, do you like my new slogan? Sell - like there’s no tomorrow. Cut - like there’s no one watching. Lead - like you’ve never been hurt.

Bert: Wait a minute, Ernie. You’re just reading stuff off my T-shirt.
Ernie: Yeh, but it’s so clear and catchy. Bert, can I have your shirt?

Bert: Get your own shirt. You can afford it, can’t you?
Ernie: Of course I can. Just asking. You ready for more chocolate shake?

gah

***

Please click here for another exciting episode of “IT STRIKES” Again.

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Zoom w a View: Flushed with pride

Cyclists who ride regularly through Old South, even into late fall, will be happy to know that an additional amenity can be found at the corner of Ridout and Craig St., a favourite entranceway to Wortley Village.

Some wooden structure, perhaps made from cedar privacy lattice (I hope there will be a roof), will likely be added before the first snow falls.

At least, for the time being, the bicycle route remains well marked and no cars are allowed to park in front of said amenity.

No wonder Wortley Village, ahead of the curve is so many ways, is world renowned.

***

Please click here for It Strikes me Funny.

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Prose: slow ride quick death

[“I don’t usually sleep very well when I’m away from home. One morning, during a recent trip to visit my son and his family in Fenelon Falls, I awoke with a start.” gah]

slow ride quick death


in a flash I was awake
in a dark room - still alive
I felt a warm bed cover
on my shoulder
but a hot question
on my startled mind
what happened? I said
perhaps aloud

I closed my eyes
thought backward cautiously
to the scene of the explosive crash
to the sound of my heart
beating in my ears

only seconds earlier I’d been dreaming
driving my car up a small hill
and the only other passenger,
my wife, was making small talk
as we neared the crest
a car appeared
full speed ahead
in our lane, a wide chrome grill
aimed at my eyes


one second left of life
one thought - this is it
one scream - oh no
one impression - surprise absolute
the surprise of arriving
at an unexpected destination unannounced

I opened my eyes
stared at the wall -
still alive

gah

***

I hope this won’t be a recurring dream whenever I visit Fenelon Falls.

Please click here for wee prose more cheerful.

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It Strikes Me Funny: My wife’s only mistake

I can’t count the time my wife dug up one of two lovely white pine trees from our front yard as a mistake because she believes to this day it was dead.

I thought at the time, and still do, that its coverage of yellow needles only proved it was going through some hard times and that it would replace the yellow needles with new growth given a bit more time.

But we’ll never know who was right. While I was at work one day she cut it down. Not by mistake she says.


However, under the spreading arms of the second and surviving white pine (surviving quite well too, I might add) lies a metal cap to our water line. It sticks up about 3 - 4 inches and bears a scar from the time my wife hit it, several years ago, with the spinning blade of my last gas-powered lawn mower.

She told me she didn’t notice it. (What?!)


["Ollie spins just steps from the second pine and water cap": photos GH

Though she killed the lawn mower, I don’t mention it - well, hardly ever - because she’s pretty sensitive about her one and only mistake in life.

***

Please click here for more It Strikes Me Funny.

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Cartoon in Progress: “Life’s like that, eh” 39

“Jerry noticed that the new model planes were getting more realistic all the time.”

gah

***

Please click here to view “Life’s like that” 38

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Favourite Things: A Case of You by Joni Mitchell

[“If Shania Twain is devoid of ideas to guarantee private time in her life... I have a few suggestions. She could pencil in downtime at her healthy-sized chunk of real estate in Switzerland... she could go down to the basement and sit in a comfortable chair, slap on some headphones and listen to her favourite Joni Mitchell CD.” G. Harrison, Sept. 2, 2004]

Christmas is coming and I’m busy putting a small book together for friends and family of some of my favourite columns. In my opinion, nothing says Merry Christmas like my story about Shania Twain or another about the high price of eggs or that brilliant piece - you remember, don't you - about one of my thousands of personal opinions.

While organizing the book I listened to Joni Mitchell songs but had to stop typing when ‘A Case of You’ began to play. For the hundredth time the lyrics and orchestral arrangement knocked me off my chair.

“Oh I am a lonely painter
I live in a box of paints
I'm frightened by the devil
And I'm drawn to those ones that ain't afraid.”

Joni knocks me off my chair.

Below is the album cover for Both Sides Now, one home for ‘A Case of You.’ Joni’s painting skills rival her song-writing and guitar-playing skills and though I’ve looked at the cover many, many times, I only recently noticed the coaster beside her elbow.


“On the back of a cartoon coaster
In the blue TV screen light
I drew a map of Canada
Oh Canada
With your face sketched on it twice...”

When love goes wrong it can go wrong in crushing ways. When a song goes right it can go right forever.

‘A Case of You’ first appeared in 1970 but it still stings, bleeds and soars at the same time.

And it’s one of my favourite things.

***

Please click here for ‘Remembering my father’, my most recent column.

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Ollie and Me: “My egg-in-the-hole-in-one”

Someone wiser than me once said, “With grandchildren, you get your children back.”

Grandson Ollie, soon to be five, marched into the house this morning talking a mile a minute and almost instantly (I was only half through my coffee) enlivened me with his youthful enthusiasm and energy. He engaged me in conversations with flavours reminiscent of the ones I enjoyed when my own sons were his age and I was thankful for the experience (now expected, not as genuinely surprising as only a few years ago) of having one foot in today, the other in yesteryear, at precisely the same moment.

I quickly thought of a way to repay Ollie for his magic touch and said, “Have you had breakfast? Have you ever had egg-in-the-hole?”

He shook his head and raced toward the kitchen, and because the works - and a sharp knife - were already on the kitchen counter I followed close behind.


Crusts were already off the bread, square holes were waiting to receive an egg, butter was melting in the fry pan and it wasn’t long before our egg-in-the-hole breakfast, with cheese slice on top, was making a sizzling sound on the stove, much to our combined delight.

While we waited I served up “the world’s largest PB&J sandwiches” (the squirrels get the crusts, but we get the holes) and Ollie ate the two of them so fast I barely had time to snap a picture.


["Ollie ate the two of them so fast... : photos by GH]

I know I get my children back at times like these, but I wonder if, sometime in the distant future, Ollie will make egg-in-the hole and “the world’s largest PB&J sandwiches” and experience getting his Grandpa back?

(I never met my grandfathers, so my memory banks concerning them are almost empty).

***

Please click here for more Ollie and Me.

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The Workshop: “I use more than rescued lumber now”

It’s time to fess up.

Though I made birdhouses exclusively from rescued lumber for 5 - 6 years, my run came to an end a couple of months ago when I purchased small number of new fence boards.

My ‘rescued lumber’ pile ran low during a busy time, the curbs and cupboards were bare and I came up empty on leads for useful scraps. So... off to Home Depot I did go.


Admittedly, I certainly like the cedar birdhouses I can make from new fence boards, and so do several satisfied customers.


As well, bat houses from fresh cut barn board can be assembled as if in a flash. Because the lumber is so clean, I spend a lot less time cutting and sanding.


["A recent GH model made from leftover and rescued bits and pieces": photos GH]

However, I still derive a lot of pleasure from making sturdy houses - all shapes and sizes - out of leftover or rescued odds and ends.

Many buyers like ‘rescued lumber’ birdhouses as well because, not only is the lumber saved from rotting in a landfill site, but their cost is often lower as well.

So. I’m betwixt and between, so to speak, until my ship - loaded with old boards - comes in.

***

Please click here for a look at a bathouse from The Workshop.

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Welcome to Harperville: “More smoke and fire up your pants”

[“Speculation was rampant Monday that Finance Minister Jim Flaherty is going to break his promise by his boss to erase the deficit in three years.” Today’s London Free Press]

PM Harper promised to erase the deficit in three years, come hell or high water.

(Read my lips. It won't ever happen).

Meanwhile, back at the Finance Dept., Jim Flaherty has been sending out the message, as often as he can, that these are challenging economic times as far as his beady little eyes can see.

To anyone who will listen Jim has also mentioned the following:

- Canada’s unemployment has grown, according to recent reports, from 7.1 to 7.3 %

- the Greek situation could send Europe into a recession

- the US economy is struggling

- because of turbulence (Can you feel it?) his own growth expectations for the near future have been lowered

However, and this strikes me as funny, he hasn’t mentioned his boss's proposed corporate tax reduction for 2011 and how much that will cost the national treasury annually or who is going to have to make up the difference, and how, in the short or long term.

It’s no coincidence then, as many average Canadians are facing tougher times than ever before, there is also the feeling that someone is blowing smoke and fire up their pants.

***

Which Canadian Prime Minister has had the most expensive PMO or Prime Minister’s Office?

Please click here for more smoke and fire up (even down) your pants.

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Chasing Dad: PT 1 “His love of ships began at an early age”

[“To my family I dedicate this resume of my Naval Service from June 20, 1941 to September 5, 1945.” Leading Seaman Coxswain Gordon Douglas Harrison, RCNVR V8809, Class Very Good, Jan. 6, 1975]

I don’t have many traditions because I’m easily distracted, very forgetful and some things just go out of fashion.

For example, as a marathoner I met with other runners for a traditional Christmas morning run for several years in a row, but gave it up about five years ago because I’d stopped running and couldn’t keep up.

I do celebrate Happy Hour at 5 p.m. regularly, however, because by that time, if I’m working in my shop, there’s enough dust in the air for me to signal a pause for a cold beer to help clear my throat.

Also, I almost always replace worn out clothes by buying used jeans and t-shirts - oh, it’s a tradition, for sure - during regular trips to the Village of Values.

And, as some readers may know, I write a column about my dad on or near Remembrance Day (I think I’ve been doing it for enough years now to call it a tradition) to keep thoughts and an appreciation of his service in the Canadian Navy and for his country alive in my mind and heart.


The process of preparing a suitable column enlivens other memories as well, and for that I’m always grateful.

While writing this week’s column (Nov. 10) I dipped into a document my father assembled in the mid-1970s entitled ‘The Naval Memoirs of Leading Seaman Coxswain Gordon Douglas Harrison’ and I was briefly taken back in time to the 1930s, a time when pennies were hard to come by, when a family of seven - with no father at the head of the table - was more common, when dreams of a life upon the sea entered young boys’ minds.

In dad’s ‘Foreward’ I read the following:

I was born September 6, 1920, 12 lbs. 10 ozs.

As a young boy I was crazy about ships. I used to make boats by folding paper in a certain way and then sail them on the creek.

I was from a family of seven, three girls and four boys. My mother needed a new door sill for our home so she somehow procured a lovely board from a lumber yard. I stole the board and Sonny Bucholtz and I hollowed it out and used it for our first ship, the Bluenose.


["Gord Douglas and Gord "Sonny" Bucholtz, Senior ball champs"]

We got old car batteries, melted the lead and molded it to fit the bottom of the boat as a keel. Built masts and yardarms, made sails and halyards and her maiden voyage at Vandenburgh’s swimming pool was a terrific success. She was painted blue and white. I always admired the real Nova Scotian Bluenose and have a plastic replica in my rec room today. Yes, Mum found out about the board and I not only got the board, I got the shoe brush on my bottom.

In the navy if an officer says “well done” it is nearly the same as getting a citation or medal. I hope my efforts at this story may interest someone enough to say “Dad, well done.”

I don’t think it’s ever too late to say “Dad, well done” so I say it now.

I knew dad’s love for the S.S. Silver Walnut ran deep (he served upon it in 1941), and I wish I knew more about the ship he motored to Sicily upon (that is, when the motors were running), but it was great to learn his love for ships started as a young boy.

gah

PS

Because dad maintained his connection with Gord “Sonny” Bucholtz until Gord’s death, I include a photo of the two men together during good times in 1949.

***

Please click here to read about dad’s 1941 adventure upon the sea and near Scotland.

http://itstrikesmefunny.blogspot.com/2011/05/dads-navy-days-pt-3-door-opens-at-kings.html

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Cartoon in Progress: “Life’s like that, eh.” 38

“A few listeners really enjoyed Burton’s complicated finger arrangements.”

***

Please click here to view “Life’s like that, eh.” 37

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Zoom w a View: Fall colours yet to fall

Muted colours, for certain, seem to be the order of the day.


Still, a few surprises can be found to cheer the weary traveller, or in my case, give me something to focus on as I walk to the Red Roaster for coffee.


On the south side of Bruce St., between Cathcart and Wortley, a tulip tree is beginning to shed a few leaves, but, if temperatures stay mild for awhile, it may retain some colour until December.


I’ll keep my eye on it.

[Photos by GH]

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Please click here for more Zoom w a View.

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The Workshop: “I have some explainin’ to do... about bats”

[Photo from wikipedia]

["70% of bats consume insects, sharing a large part of natural pest control." www.defenders.org]

By Friday supper time I was ready to bring several new birdhouses indoors. I was also dust-covered and tired.

But I thought they made quite a splash together as they sat outside my back door, waiting to be packed into banana boxes for the next day’s sale.


["Making a splash": photos GH]

My first bat house was the biggest and heaviest and I was pretty sure I was going to get asked several questions about it. So, while packing them up a few statements ran through my mind.


“The bats can enter in two ways. Can you find the entrances?”

“It’s made of new barn board and will hang behind your garden shed, but you’ll need a sturdy nail.”

“I cut grooves every 3/4 of an inch inside the house so the bats can climb inside easily.”

“Mosquitoes? Sure, the bats will eat your mosquitoes.

(A bat will eat half of their body weight per night with lactating females eating more than their body weight per night.” Wikipedia)

“Will I take more than the asking price? Well, only if I must.”

: )

***

Please click here for more from The Workshop.

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It Strikes Me Funny: The Occupy Movement touches nerves

[“Once again I read an article about people occupying some area in support of what?  How many of those people really know what they are supporting?  Nine percent unemployment?” Norm. B., Nov. 3]

My most recent column “Why occupy Wall Street, Bay Street, Victoria Park?” hit the streets yesterday and, as any newspaper column in this big wide world is capable of doing, opened the door to some give and take between this writer and his readership.

As usual, I’ll use the good manners my mother taught me, answer every email, try to handle questions thrown my way like an astute tennis pro and leave the reader feeling like he/she at least got a straight answer if not an agreeable one.

In the following exchange, which is now on-going, you’ll notice I didn’t rise to all the bait. Will you give me an A for astute?

Norm B. writes the following:

Once again I read an article about people occupying some area in support of what?  How many of those people really know what they are supporting?  Nine percent unemployment?
 
Sure I’m upset about that but what’s the solution?  Shouldn’t I have some solution in mind when I am protesting something?  Lack of good employment?  What is good employment?  Ditch digging?
 
C’mon Gord, most of your columns are pretty good for a retired school teacher but this one is pretty nebulous.  It’s like you’ve come out on the side of protest but wrote something just for the sake of getting the column out.

Moments ago I sent the following reply:

Hi Norm,

Thanks for your email. You're the first person in 10 years to describe one of my brilliant columns as "pretty nebulous." 

Another reader wrote the following, also a first:

"Gordon, Pretty slim thinking, wouldn't you say?" 

I wish I had a budget. You folks deserve at least a free coffee!


["Don't run from problems. Train for the long haul."]

On a more serious note, I can understand the questions you and others have about an occupation. I have questions myself. 

The book I mention, however, by Chris Hedges (Death of the Liberal Class) may provide answers for some people, and that's why I devoted half my column to it. 

In the one paragraph I quoted, Ernie Bell actually hit upon 6 reasons (I only mentioned 3, thinking that readers could tease out the other 3 themselves) why people in the US would be angry and, like him, take to the streets.

Occupiers in Victoria Park may not use his words but I think they feel some of the same fear, anger or frustration, especially when it relates to job hunting and a secure future.

You ask, “Shouldn’t I have some solution in mind when I am protesting something?” 

I think, for some, because they can't think of a solution they feel the need to protest. They may have heard about the days, e.g., 1970s (my era), when people could get a job for life with decent pay. They may want to know or question why there has been a great shift away from secure, full-time jobs.

Finally, you mention ditch digging. I would take that job - yes, I feel it's good employment - because my grand father was a digger (graves were his specialty), and I guess I can sometimes dig myself into a nebulous hole!

Thanks again for your comments.

Gord Harrison
@The Londoner

Admittedly, I didn’t try to answer all Norm’s questions or rise to all the bait in the water.

For example, I feel no need to address the idea that “most of your columns are pretty good for a retired school teacher” or delve into his last sentence re the side I seem to be taking or the amount of effort I put into the column. Ted Williams never had a batting average of 1.000 but why moan about that?

I could have directed him to read my blog post about Ernie Bell’s six reasons that could motivate someone to occupy a street of significant address, but still, I give myself a pretty good grade for the reply.

Do I can an A for astute?

***

Norm just got back to me. No A from him.

Please click here for more about “Why Occupy Wall Street.”

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Occupy Wall Street and occupy Bay: “Why?” PT 3

[“The winters [in New York State] are really hard... the real underemployment rate must be at least twenty per cent. A lot of people are working part-time jobs when they want full-time jobs.” Ernie Logan, page 5, Death of the Liberal Class]

London and region may be told the unemployment rate is 8 - 9 per cent but it’s very likely higher when you consider that many people are under-employed, doing part-time work when full-time is needed to keep the proverbial wolf from their door.

Many who think 8 per cent means 8 per cent, that 92 per cent are doing quite well, have been lulled to sleep by the calm, reassuring voices of men like PM Stephen Harper, Finance Minister Jim Flaherty and Mark Carney, Governor of the Bank of Canada, who together will only speak calmly for fear of causing more unrest than there already is in the hearts and minds of a growing number of Canadian citizens.

They’ll say, soothingly, “We’re not as bad off as other countries. Look at Greece, for Heaven’s sake.”

“Our fundamentals are sound, our heads are above water, all is well, invest in Canada,” they’ll add in hushed tones.

Please don’t believe all you hear from such men. While they hope and often infer the markets and economy will recover they ignore many indicators that their high-cost Market First philosophy is fast approaching its expiration date, like an expensive bottle of almond-flavoured homogenized milk in a dairy case that many pass by for lack of funds or a decent job.


[“The road is long. And we have many miles to run.”: photo by mojo]

There are too many critical global trends they say nothing about - yet greatly shape our lives - but can no longer ignore just for the sake of an inflated lifestyle.

In Dr. Ron Nielsen’s book, The Little Green Handbook, seven trends are examined in detail. They are as follows:

The population explosion (7 billion as of Oct. 31)

Diminishing land resources

Diminishing water resources

The destruction of the atmosphere

The approaching energy crisis

Social decline

Conflicts and increasing killing power

Nielsen says, “Even though some global problems might already be out of our control we can identify a great number that could be resolved by rearranging priorities and changing our attitudes, aims and styles of living.” (pg. xiv, intro)

Social decline and lack of decent long-term full-time jobs may be enough reason for many occupiers to occupy streets of significant address in several counties but critical global trends may also drive people onto the streets.

If Nielsen has left any out, please let me know.

And if Canada’s political and financial leaders continue to only hope for and speak of the resumption of a “business as usual” way of life, listen for other voices.

More to follow.

***

Please click here to read Occupy Wall Street, occupy Bay: “Why?” PT 2

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The Workshop: Some done. Some not.

Two are ready for the shelf.


Some are ready for linseed oil.

[Photos by GH]

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Please click here for more from The Workshop.

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Zoom w a View: Bottoms up. Above tree tops

Bottoms up!


Above the tree tops.

***

Please click here to view more Zoom w a View.

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The Workshop: “Stack ‘em up. Ship ‘em out”

As Christmas approaches, the number of requests for birdhouses rise, the workshop gets busier and dust flies.

Good thing I love being inside my cozy shop on a cool day.


["Stock for three modified JRs is ready for assembly."]


["One modified JR birdhouse is ready for the shelf."]


["One 10 inch tall cedar house is assembled; behind it sits stock for two more; beside it sits stock for a cedar tri-plex."]


["A cedar tri-plex, with linseed oil freshly applied, is drying outside the shop door."]

I don’t mind the ‘production-line’ process for a few weeks because I know that easier times - with less dust up my nose - are ahead.

[Photos by G.Harrison]

***

Please click here for more from The Workshop.

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“IT STRIKES” Again: Playing quick games of charades at the all-way stops in Old South

[The following column was first published in April, 2003. According to recent personal experience, the game of charades is still played on a regular basis at the corner of Elmwood and Wortley. gah]

Playing quick games of charades at the all-way stops in Old South

In the March 20th issue of The Londoner Victoria Stirling wrote “Some London motorists can drive you nuts.”

Watch out. I may be one of those people.

She mentioned drivers “who sit at a stop sign” and suffer a “temporary loss of consciousness,” then don’t go anywhere until she starts to move.

I’ve regularly been in the middle of similar situations when trying to negotiate one of the 200 all-way stops in Old South. Short, dramatic or comic operas often occur when a few drivers meet simultaneously at an intersection.

On a brilliant day not long ago I was driving west on Elmwood toward Wortley Rd. and the all-way stop. My windows were rolled down, I was happily belting out “All My Wheels Are Turning” with The Anger Brothers on CD and was totally unprepared to answer the question: “Who The Heck Goes Next, Alex?”

I braked, nodded at a pedestrian to cross and surveyed the busy intersection. I observed several cars stopped to my right and left and had no idea who was on first. So I nodded toward the two lead drivers, gestured, smiled and said aloud, “You guys go ahead.”

The Anger Brothers and I were nicely harmonizing on “Should they stay or should they go? All my wheels are turning...” when I noticed the driver on my left was waving. He may have seen me pause for the pedestrian and wanted to reward me with one free pass.


["Hey, I know how you guys feel.": photo link]

So, I flicked my hand politely in return and replied, “Nice thought. Let me check with the guy on the right because I waved him through a second ago.”

I looked over and noticed the same driver still in place. I caught his attention with a few hand and head movements and asked, “Are you going or what? I gave you the wave. What’s it going to be.”

The driver wagged his head, mouthed a few words and signaled back.

I honestly couldn’t decipher the answer but assumed he replied, “I think you’re up, buddy.”

“Okay. That’s two waves and a head bob back to me,” I told myself.

Believing I had the green light I started to continue west through the intersection, but, almost immediately, my peripheral vision warned me of imminent danger. I instinctively turned my head left and came face to face with the large chrome grill of a Buick Park Avenue. Recent edition.

With full knowledge that a new bumper on my Civic would cost $700 I hastily stopped past the middle of the pedestrian crosswalk.

I gestured and spoke boisterously to the Buick’s driver. “Hey! What gives? You gave me the wave. Don’t blame me for checking back with the other guy. And look at him. (I pointed.) He’s still sitting there. Now there’s a nice guy.”

Without a nod, gesture or final salute the Park Avenue drove around my precious bumper and continued north. And meanwhile, back at the ranch, the driver on the right spotted the Buick on the move and seized the opportunity to head south.

I gave one final wave to the dust of both drivers and to three pedestrians peering quizzically into my passenger window. I headed west to the three-way stop at Cathcart mentally rehearsing Act Two.

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Cartoon In Progress: “Life’s like that, eh” 37

“The new walking-talking-bed wetting doll was a big hit even with some of the young boys.”

gah

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Zoom w a View: “One branch of many says STOP”

The leaves of one branch of upon my neighbour’s Japanese Maple has turned red. The rest are green or orange and apparently not bothered by the first ice upon the pond.

As I pull into my driveway the red leaves at eye level signal me to stop.


The rest remind me how hardy are some delicate looking plants.


[Photos by GH]

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It Strikes Me Funny: “What will The Leafs do this year?”

Admittedly, it’s early in the NHL season, but I can’t help but wonder if the Leafs will not only make the playoffs but make a decent run for the Stanley Cup.

After all, according to yesterday’s team rankings, the Leafs are in second place in the Eastern League and number one in their division.

Sure, a couple of young defense men, with power and speed (like mine), would help.


["Coach, you don't even need to pay me to play!": photo PH]

In your opinion, how will The Leafs do this year?

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