My Lucky Day: Dodged a snausage bullet aimed at my heart

Is this happening more often to you as you age?

(I hit the big 6 - 0 in 3 weeks, so age is on my mind a lot more than usual).

I was staring silently into the bathroom mirror this morning, wondering (Do I still have it? Have what? You know, what I used to have? What did you have?), when my wife poked her head around the corner and said, “I’m going to pick up breakfast. Would you like hot cakes and sausages?”

Hot cakes and snausages? I thought. Maybe just hot cakes is enough. Snausages aren’t real meat. Some young punk just sweeps stuff off a barn floor and throws it into the snausage bin. His motto - don’t throw anything out.


["My first mad encounter with mystery meat in a can"]

Before 8 a.m., a problem like that will take me 20 - 30 minutes to resolve.

Eventually I said, “Just hot cakes.”

But before she left the house I said, “OK, I’ll have the snausages, just this once.”

Then I changed my mind, then back then forth. Final word - yes to the snausage.

When I heard the car pull back into the laneway 10 minutes later I tasted snausages in the air and they didn’t taste bad at all. Extra syrup was playing with my mind.

But I discovered, as soon as I removed the foam top to my breakfast, there were no snausages. The girl at the drive through had made an error. But hadn’t charged us for any snausages, however, so I immediately forgave her.

So did my heart. We’d dodged another bullet.

***

OK, about the introductory question? It could refer to several things.

Take your pick.

Are you eating more fast food? Wondering if you still have it? Having a harder time deciding re the snausages (I call it the mystery meat factor)? Can’t make up your mind easily, especially before 8 a.m.?

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