Here in North America, land of the brave and wide load, though personal, provincial, and national debt levels are up to our armpits and we know we should save for tough times ahead, there is a long list of material things we won’t ever give up.
For example, even though some of us have made a sterling effort to cut down on unhealthy snacks, there will always be a market for sausage dogs for $3.99 (containing a life supply of hot nitrates) outside of big box stores. It’s the smell of the things that gets ya. And those free condiments are a bonus, eh?
Thus begins my latest long list.
“Things that will be pried out of our cold, dead hands”
Street meat - I don’t know about you but I have to run out of Canadian Tire with a bag over my head in order to stay away from this menace to my arteries. The reason I don’t know about you - I have a bag over my head.
Chocolate - dark chocolate from the freezer is my favourite. I bet if chocolate doubled in price over 3 billion addicts would hit the streets, and protest very loudly for at least an hour. Then we’d wander home with a fresh supply hidden in our pockets.
NFL tickets - though ticket prices are up 4.5% this season, with the league average ticket price going for $76.47, gridiron warriors the size of moving trucks will still prosper. The lure of cold beers and hot nitrates in vast parking lots is strong.
NASCAR racing - oil at $125 per barrel will barely make a dent in attendance. The hypnotic effect of fast cars going around and around and around and around and around and around a track will keep diehards in their seats long after the fuel tank runs dry.
Potato chips - it’s the salt, it’s the dip, it’s the crunch. I’m dead.
The single family home - the notion of ‘our own place, geez, with a yard’ has been sold to us for so long - in expensive, glossy magazines - many of us will hang onto it dearly until death. (Thus the title of this list!)
Car keys
Huge refrigerators - how many condiments do we actually need at any given time? I count 13 kinds of mustard and relish in my fridge, but there’s not even one slice of bologna for a sandwich. What’s wrong with this picture?
Okay, that’s enough fun for one day.
***
What else should be added to the list?
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2 comments:
Women's shoes - but you'll have to pry them off of our feet!
I have a sturdy crow bar in The Shed! Step right up!
If I get back into long distance running, I may have to add expensive running shoes to my list.
Cheers,
Gord
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