It Strikes Me Funny

My Neighbour is Taller 2

My neighbour Matt is working today, wasps are active in a shared backyard tree, I found a half-used can of bug spray in the basement, and I felt I should do something.

Even though Matt is taller and in better shape than me for the 'climb, jump and run' (a soon-to-be Olympic event 1/3 similar to the triple jump - but a heck of a lot more exciting - in which two jumps have been replaced by a climb up a step ladder and a quick jump off the upper rung once the wasps' nest has been hit by bug bomb), I had a step-ladder handy and decided to take action.

Grandson Ollie watched from the safety of my study and supplied colourful running commentary, and ominous sound effects.

"Whee-ooo whee-oo whee-oo," he sang.

"What's that noise, Ollie?" asked my wife.

"I'm pretending to be an ambulance," he said.

The kid's a natural, I thought. Then I climbed the step ladder and gave the nest a good shot from a bug bomb.

"Action stations," was announced deep inside the nest, scores of wasps fell into 'defend and attack' position and within the blink of an eye flew in strict and instinctive military formation amongst the tree leaves. I jumped off the ladder and was safely indoors in under three seconds, likely a new North American if not World record. And when the coast was clear I repeated the operation and rushed back indoors without a whiff of a bug bite or bee sting.

Act 2 at 5 PM.

News at 11.

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